


Special Edition.

by reidbyers



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe - Library, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2018-12-03 09:09:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11529123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reidbyers/pseuds/reidbyers
Summary: To say working three jobs to be able to care for your son who while being the love of your life was a trouble maker by nature was difficult would be an understatement, so when you heard that the local library had an after school club you thought it would be the perfect opportunity to allow yourself some free time and start to pull your life together. What you weren’t expected was to fall head over heels with the cute librarian who worked there with the prettiest brown eyes and way with children you had only seen in fellow parents and become involved in saving the library from being closed down.





	1. Chapter One.

“Cam, please!” You exclaimed whilst looking down at you son, his arms crossed tightly over his chest and his face furrowed in a frown. Technically, this was your fault. For six years now you had been by his side every second of every day apart from when he was at school and that only made him even more of a mommy’s boy than he had been to start with, it was no wonder he didn’t want to leave your side. He shook his head once more and tightened his arms against his chest, determined to stay within his car seat.

“No.” Cameron said simply, looking up at you with big green eyes that reminded you of his father more and more every day. You didn’t want to play the bad guy, especially since there was no one to be the good guy but you needed to get him out of the car, he couldn’t stay in there forever and the clock was ticking to the time you were supposed to be at work. You worked in a local bar and when he was little Cameron was aloud to stay behind the bar if he sat there quietly and didn’t make a fuss. The older he got the more difficult that had been and you had been told you weren’t aloud to bring him into work anymore, he was still so little and you didn’t have the money to pay for a babysitter so you’d had to find somewhere for him to be while you worked.

Upon doing some research online you discovered that the local library did an after school club for elementary school kids, you hadn’t even known there was a library because who went to the library these days? You recognised the building from driving past it a few times before but you’d never been inside, until recently Cameron was still getting read to and had never shown that much of an interest in books. He still wasn’t showing any interest but it was the best solution you had come up with, maybe it would end up doing him some good.

You loved Cameron more than anything in the world but he wasn’t the best child, it had been difficult to accept that at first and even when his teachers would tell you that he had an attitude problem or was disruptive during class you would defend him throughout the whole thing because that was a mother’s job. It had taken a long time but you’d come to accept that he was still a good kid he just had some issues, it didn’t mean you had to love him any less and it certainly didn’t make him a bad person.

All you could do was sigh and look across the road to where the library was seated, it was a large old building with warm coloured bricks and white detailed work around them. Outside the building was large white oak tree, it was coming into spring so the leaves were returning with an intense green but you’d see how pretty it looked all rusty orange and moulting. There was a small parking lot beside the library but it was filled up from other parents bringing their kids in. You watched as other single mothers and fathers walked their kids into the building, they all looked happy and excited to be there, so it couldn’t be that bad inside.

“Baby, please. If you go inside I’ll let you get pizza for dinner tonight!” Ideally you wouldn’t have to bribe your son with takeaway pizza but he loved junk food almost as much as his father did and it was the easiest way to get him to do what you wanted. Thankfully he wasn’t a picky eater, just an unhealthy one since you didn’t always have the money to buy the fruits and vegetables you wanted him to be eating and instead wandered on over to the frozen meal aisle. There were lots of things you wanted to do better for him, it was just about having the money to do so. Maybe if this library thing went well you’d be able to pick up more shifts and have the money to do all those things you wanted.

Around when Cameron turned five months old his father left, said something about not yet being ready to be a father, wanted to see the world a little more before he settled down. You weren’t married, not even planning on it but you still felt resentment for being left on your own to raise a child who deserved to have a father in his life. Because he was so young when his dad left Cameron didn’t really know what he was missing out on, to him it had always just been him and his mom and even though there were kids at school who who’d ask him where his dad was Cameron would always reply with the same thing.

“My mom’s my mom and my dad.”

At six years old it was still difficult to imagine the centre of the universe not revolving around him, luckily for you Cameron was a smart kid and could understand that you wanted him to do this and since he would be getting a treat out of it then he could force himself to go inside despite wanting to be back at home with his toys. You tried not to breathe out sigh of relief when Cameron uncrossed his arms and let you help him out of his car seat, quickly bending down to untuck the bottom of his pants out from in his sock.

“I love you so much.” A wave of pride overcame you as you looked up at your son, it was still hard to believe that he had gotten so grown up when it felt like yesterday he was in your arms for the first time in that hospital room. He was still so little yet so big at the same time, he was getting more lanky as the weeks went on, starting to lose all the puppy fat you loved to kiss and squeeze to get him to giggle. If you could have he’d still be coming to work with you didn’t want to be without him for even a second, however you were so incredibly proud of him for dealing with his separation anxiety and going ahead with this. “Give me a smile?”

Cameron revealed to you a toothy grin, he had just lost his front teeth a few weeks ago and they were beginning to grow back in. It gave him a bit of a lisp but he was quickly getting over that, you managed to scrape together a dollar or two to give to him so he was just pleased with that. You gave him a quick kiss on each of his cheeks before standing up and taking his hand in yours, closing the car door and locking it before turning towards the road, first you checked to see if anything was coming and then you got Cameron to check before you crossed over.

Despite you not being the one being enrolled in this club you felt a little nervous about being around all these other parents and children, Cameron could be a problem child and you had thought about what if he ended up getting kicked out because he said something that could be misconstrued as rude or put his feelings across with actions rather than words. So far though everyone seemed okay, there were more mothers than fathers and they were all crowded together chatting while their kids ran off to the children’s section.

You remembered reading about having to fill out a form so that your child was permitted to say, a lot of basic stuff like your phone number, address, whether or not your kid and any allergies, that kind of thing. You looked around trying to find someone who worked there before landing on a woman dressed in a bright pink dress and matching heels, she was currently chatting with a little girl who had just handed her a plastic tiara to wear. The woman gasped and clutched her hand to her chest, telling the girl just how beautiful it was and how she was finally a princess just like her. Both you and Cameron watched as she slid the crown on into the curly blonde hair before the little girl ran off giggling now that another one of her friends had arrived. You took that as your chance to talk to the lady, looking down at Cameron to make sure he was doing okay before walking in her direction.

“Excuse me, do you to the enrolments?” You asked in a hushed voice, loud enough to get her attention but not the other mothers around you. The woman burst out into a smile and shook her head, looking around her quickly as if she was looking for someone but didn’t end up seeing them.

“That would be Spencer, I’m sure he’s around here somewhere.” She said with a laugh like wind chimes, sticking her hand out for you to shake and then for Cameron to also shake. “I’m Penelope, it’s lovely to meet you both!” You been talking for less than a minute but you already liked her, she seemed like she knew exactly how to act around younger people and one of your worries was that the library was going to be filled with old ladies who wouldn’t know how to handle children.

“(Y/N)” You smiled and watched fondly as Cameron shook her hand with a light grip, Penelope then flattened her skirt over her legs as she knelt down in front of Cameron so she could look him in the eye and wasn’t just looking down at him.

“And who are you?” Her wording could have come across as rude but she sounded nothing but genuinely interested. Cameron looked up at you first then back down at Penelope when you nodded, indicating it was okay you spoke to her as you’d made sure he knew not to talk to strangers.

“Cameron.” Penelope’s friendly face broke out into another smile, her blue glasses were hanging barely onto her nose and she pushed them back up before replying to Cameron. She loved spending time with kids, she didn’t work in the library everyday like some other people she just came in on Mondays and Fridays to help everyone relax. All the children were completely smitten with her, probably because she had brought raspberry cupcakes and chocolate chip cookies with her this week, variations for everyone including people who couldn’t eat gluten, dairy, anything that you could think of.

“Cameron? I love that name, haven’t met anyone with that name here before!” The look that came across Cameron’s face was a picture, he scrunches his nose up and smiled in disbelief. Most kids liked to feel special and he was no exception, even if it was because of the smallest thing.

“Really?” He didn’t sound completely convinced but played along with it anyways so that Penelope didn’t feel awkward, he was just that kind of kid. Penelope nodded her head before something caught her eye and she looked up and across Cameron, then nodding at you and in the direction. It wasn’t until you turned round to look that you realised what she was gesturing to you about.

A man stood there conversing with a parent, he had wavy brown hair with curls that suck up in all directions and from the side it looked like he had both the sharpest jawline and cheekbones you had ever seen; which just felt unfair that he had both. He wore a dark navy cardigan and under that was a sweater vest and shirt, also a tie with small polka dots on. His shoes were converse which were slightly dirty and could use with being replaced but all in all he didn’t look like the kind of person who would be running a library, maybe that was because of your own stereotypes of what a librarian looked like which was just an old lady with glasses attached to a chain and a mean attitude but he couldn’t be more different.

You looked back to Cameron and wondered if you should take him along with you, Penelope noticed your doubts about leaving your son immediately. It was like she had a sensor to detect nervous parents so she could then inject herself and make them feel better, she didn’t have kids of her own but she knew how important a parent was to them and she liked to make sure that everyone felt comfortable and safe within the library’s walls.

“It’s okay, he’ll be fine with me.” Even though her words comforted you it still didn’t feel right leaving Cameron alone with her, or anyone really. You had to come to terms with the idea rather quickly that you were going to have to leave him away so giving him a taster of what it would be like might be a good idea. You smiled down at him and ruffed up his hair, telling him to be good before you let go of his hand and turned to walk towards who you could only assume was the “Spencer” Penelope had mentioned not long ago.

You walked up to him just as the other person in the conversation was pulled away by their son, he turned away with the intention of going and seeing if Penelope was doing okay but came face to face with you instead. His eyes widened at the sight of you and while you chalked that down to just being surprised it was in fact because despite being surrounded by women on the daily who could be considered attractive he had never been so struck by someone before you.

“Hi, um, I was wondering if you do the enrolments? I really need somewhere for him to be able to stay while I work.” You explained, trying to find the balance between not sound too desperate but also letting him know that you really needed this. Spencer nodded and gestured towards the front desk before leading you over there, brushing his hair out of his face as he reminded himself to relax and be professional; doesn’t matter how pretty this woman is, you’re not here to flirt, he repeated to himself.

“What’s your sons name?” Spencer spoke for the first time and you swore you felt your heart skip a beat, he had the most lovely and soothing voice you’d possibly ever heard. It made sense to you that he’d work here, having a voice that sweet would be perfect for reading to people.

“Cameron, he’s six.” You explained and watched as Spencer began to fill out a form, scribbling down Cameron’s name and age at the top of the sheet. As he wrote you looked around at the surrounding area, the majority of parents had gone now and Penelope was rounding up round seventeen kids and attempting to take them over to the children’s section in the corner of the room. You spotted Cameron talking to another boy, he was smiling which you didn’t see often when he was with people his age and the sight made you smile as well.

“Six year old’s start to develop their independent reading, they can start to recognise sight words and their vocabulary improves.” Spencer recalled as he filled out more of the form, then realising you hadn’t actually asked for any of his information and became slightly bashful. “Sorry, you probably don’t care.”

“No, it’s okay. That’s actually quite interesting.” You smiled across at Spencer, he was even cuter now that he was talking and it was distracting you from the anxiety you felt about leaving your son here. “Do you think you can help him out with his reading? He doesn’t do that much, I don’t even know what he’s into.”

Spencer nodded his head before handing the form over to you along with the pen, he fiddled with his hands while waiting for you to sign your signature. As he waited another little girl galloped past him, waving up at him and calling out his name as she dashed past, Spencer smiled and returned the wave which made her grin widely, red curly hair bouncing as she chased after her friend. Things like that were why Spencer loved working at the library, as a kid he was rather lonely and books were his only friend so he spent whatever free time he had when he wasn’t at school or caring after his mom in the library. He quickly befriended the librarians there and the books he read were the best companions he could have asked for, knowing others found solace here like he did was the best feeling.

“We have around five thousand, six hundred and thirty seven books here so there will be something he finds enjoyable, we just need to help him find it.” Spencer flashed a quick smile and you felt your legs weaken, since Cameron’s dad had left you had promised yourself that all your attention would be dedicated on him and not some man but you couldn’t stop yourself from finding Spencer attractive. It was probably only a crush though, something you’d get over quickly and move on from.

After that he asked you more questions about Cameron, whether or not he had any medical concerns they should be aware of, if there were any book or movie genres you didn’t want him watching, questions like that which were targeted to make sure Cameron had the safest and most enjoyable time he could have.

“The club starts at ten minutes past four and ends at at seven o’clock. You can come pick Cameron up at any time, open all of the school week and once a month we have a Saturday club.” Spencer explained in a friendly voice once the form was completely filled out, he walked around the desk and started to look for the file in which the other filled out forms were. While you waited you scanned across the desk, coming across a sign that said “Spencer Reid.”

“Reid, huh? Sort of appropriate.” As soon as you started to speak you realised how many times Spencer had probably heard this joke, a librarian with the last name Reid was the sort of thing that happened in a children’s cartoon. “Get it? Read? That was a dumb joke.” You tried to back out of the awkward situation you had made for yourself as quickly as you had started it but paused when Spencer actually chuckled, it wasn’t a full on belly laugh but it made you feel a little better.

“It’s not dumb, some of the kids make that same joke too.” He clarified with almost a smug look, he swiftly put your form away and tucked the file back into the filing cabinet before walking back around the desk. Penelope had ushered all the kids over to the corner and you could see Cameron sat down on the floor rummaging through a box of books, part of you wanted to go say goodbye to him but he looked settled in and you didn’t want to disturb him.

“He’ll be fine, I promise.” Spencer could easily sense your worry, it was only natural for a parent to want what was best for their child and not knowing if something was could be a mind consuming thing. He’d dealt with plenty of worried mothers in his years working at the library and at first he wasn’t the best at empathising with them, he liked to think he had gotten better. You smiled at the mention of a promise, looking up at Spencer to find him already looking at you.

“Cam says that a pinky promise is the only promise that matters.” You said before sticking your pinky finger out in Spencer’s direction, he didn’t even hesitate to wrap his finger around yours.

“Okay then, I pinky promise.” He clarified and suddenly you felt so much better, you knew that a pinky promise didn’t actually mean anything and in reality he could be lying but something about Cameron believing in it made you believe in it too.

You said your goodbyes to Spencer and watched as he made his way down the book aisles and then to the corner of the building where all the kids were sat, Cameron looked up at Spencer from the box he had been going through and immediately went and sat down in front of him when Spencer pulled out a book. All the kids seemed to love him and you couldn’t say you blamed them, you left the library with a smile on your face, unable to stop thinking about getting to come back and get Cameron back in your arms but also get another glance at that cute librarian.


	2. Chapter Two.

“I need to get a flower bouquet to whoever did that haircut.” You looked up at the woman standing next to you, she was tall and slim and had a nose that seemed to point up at all times. Quickly you realised she wasn’t talking to you and instead to the two women either side of her, even the parents who brought their children to the library had started gathering into their own little cliques and since you were the last one to join that meant you had been left out. You quickly racked your brain, trying desperately to remember what these women’s names were but instead could only remember their children’s.

You didn’t know who they were talking about until you too looked in the direction they were all stared into and saw Spencer, his hair hadn’t been long to start with but he had some curly locks framing his face but now they were all gone. His hair was much shorter now, wavy tendrils delicately came down across his forehead but apart from that it was verging on being buzzcut short along the back and you quickly understood why the woman beside you was so passionate about this. He looked great, before he looked soft and cosy but now this was edging towards you considering him hot and that was going to end up being awkward sooner or later.

“That bone structure, god what is he doing here? I’d pay to just stare at him.” Another woman spoke up, she had a chubby face and light, almost white hair. You remembered seeing her little girl talking with Cameron when you’d come to pick him up after his first day, when you’d asked if they were friends he had told you no but she seemed to think otherwise. The last woman who was smaller and petite quickly clutched her son’s ears before she spoke up.

“Anne! You can’t just say stuff like that with children around!” She tried to sound annoyed but she couldn’t help but smile because she too felt the same way, in fact almost all the mothers who came to bring their children in for the after school club felt that way. Spencer was pretty, there was no denying that and talking about how pretty he was almost helped mask the hurt of having to let their children go.

“What? We all feel that way, dont try and act all innocent, Grace!” Anne said with a bubbly laugh before Spencer started walking towards them then she quickly straightened out, they all did. It was so interesting to watch how quickly these women could change how they were acting just to come across as even the slightest bit appealing to Spencer. You could only guess that a lot of them were single, none had rings on their finger and if they were in any sort of relationship then wouldn’t their partner be able to look after their child? Either way, while you didn’t partake in their gossiping about Spencer it was fun to listen to and smirk at.

Spencer walked over to the small group of women standing near the front desk, the club didn’t officially open for another ten minutes but he didn’t mind taking a few in early. He greeted all the adults with a general greeting and a nod before starting to say hello to the kids individually. There was Lucy who was Anne’s daughter, she was sweet and quiet but tried to make friend’s with everyone. Harry was Grace’s son and you didn’t know much about him, he seemed like a good kid and you’d like Cameron to make friends with him but so far that hadn’t happened yet. Naomi was the last child without counting Cameron and you quickly learned her mother was naked Mariel, she was the one who had initially started talking about Spencer in that objectifying way and while you liked to believe that all children were good, Naomi was a little bit stuck up and had obviously been spoiled her whole life.

“And Cameron, how are you today?” Spencer spoke once in front of you, Cameron looked up at him and just nodded his head. It hadn’t been the best day at school for him, he’d been getting picked on by a few boys in his class and initial reaction was to just whack one of them around the head with a book after he warned them multiple times to leave him alone. Words were power but you didn’t think that was intended use of that phrase, thankfully because they were still so young no serious consequences had took place but you’d had to have a stern talking to with Cameron about how he handled situations like that.

“Your haircut is looking awfully nice, Spencer.” Anne interrupted Spencer who about to ask Cameron what was wrong, he looked up at her with a quick smile and thanked her, his eyes starting over to look at you as if you knew something no one else did.

“Thank you, do you ladies mind if I could have a quick conversation with (Y/N) alone? You could take everyone over and help them get started picking a book out for today.” You couldn’t stop both the pride and nerves you got when you heard Spencer wanted to talk with you alone, it was undoubtedly going to be about Cameron but you hadn’t really had any time to speak with him since the first day you’d met which was a week ago and you were having withdrawal symptoms; pun intended.

The three mothers looked amongst one another before nodding their heads and guiding their children in the direction of the corner of the library. Grace looked over at you and quickly nodded down at Cameron, asking without words whether or not you wanted them to take him with you. You just smiled and nodded your head in response, running your fingers through Cameron’s soft hair before bending down and leaving a quick kiss on the top of his head before pushing him gently in Grace’s direction.

“Is Cameron doing alright? He doesn’t seem like himself today.” Spencer voice was full of genuine concern and that alone made your heart ache, not many people cared about you and Cameron or at least they didn’t show that they cared. For the most part you only had each other so to have practically a stranger show more care for him than his own father did, well that was something you’d never experienced before.

“He had a bad day at school, there’s some boys who were picking on him and I had to tell him off for hitting one of them.” You said with a sigh, still hurting from the sad look Cameron had given you once he knew he had disappointed you. The mothering side of you wanted to scream from the rooftops that maybe if people gave him the help that he needed then he wouldn’t act out like this but you’d had that conversation to many times. Apparently he didn’t qualify for the special education classes or for even help from a teaching assistant, he wasn’t troubled enough and that was a kick in the chest for both you and him.

Spencer listened intently, he related a lot to the kids who came to the library and it was no exception with Cameron. He too was bullied as a kid, his reaction wasn’t to act out like Cameron did but there were certainly days where he wanted to. It was difficult being the different kid, they naturally wanted to be with people like them so when you’re the odd one out you remain to be so for the rest of your time in education. Spencer had also heard about how Cameron’s dad wasn’t in the picture, he hadn’t asked but another child had been talking about their dad and he’d spoken up and said that his mom was both his mom and dad. Granted Spencer was older when his father left but being raised by a single mother who was struggling was difficult to watch and so all of this combined made him empathise heavily, both with your son and you.

“If he ever needs someone to talk to, he has me. He clearly loves you but it might be easier to talk to someone with an unbiased opinion.” Spencer eventually found the correct words to describe how he was feeling, the whole reason he worked at the library was so that he could help kids out who needed that support and attention and the least he could do was be there for Cameron if he ever needed it. You tucked your hands into the pockets of your coat and nodded, trying not to get emotional from how nice Spencer was being, you understood why all the other mothers were talking about his appearance but you were more floored by his geninie kindness. He almost didn’t seem real, he was standing right in front of you yet you wondered if you were dreaming this whole thing up.

You watched as Spencer turned around and leant over the front desk, rummaging around until he found a scrap piece of paper, he then tore a corner off and started scribbling something down. As soon as he touched the pen to the paper he realised he had picked up one of the gel pens Penelope had left for him and was now writing in a sparkly bright pink, at least you’d remember who gave you this now. Once he was done he turned around and handed you the piece of paper, when you looked down you realised it was his phone number.

“If you ever need something, just call and I’ll be as helpful as I can be.” Spencer smiled at you once more and you had to stop yourself from just throwing yourself into his arms and hugging him. Instead you just slipped the piece of paper into your pocket and nodded, keeping your mouth shut in case you blurted out something you regretted. At the sound of his name being called you both looked behind you, the mothers were starting to look impatient as they needed to leave and more parents were started to come in with their kids. You took that as it being your time to leave, you had a job to get to and hanging around any longer wouldn’t be helpful for anyone.

“Thank you.” You said simply before taking one last look over to Cameron who had his head buried in a book before turning on your heel and walking out the way you came, Spencer watched you leave with a fond expression before turning his attention to the children who were gathering around him, one pulling at his cardigan and another trying to show him the book they had finished the night before.

“Woah! That’s one level higher than your reading age, nice job!” Spencer crouched down and put his hand up so he could exchange a high five with the little boy, his mother standing above them beaming with pride. The girl who had been tugging at his cardigan quickly went for his hair, giggling when the short strands tickled her hair before her mother pulled her away.

“Why did you cut your hair?” The girl asked and Spencer pretended to think long and hard about his answer, it probably wasn’t best that he told her that he had gotten it cut because he’d been told by Penelope that the ladies would like it. While that did have some input into him deciding to go shorter, it was less about the majority and rather one certain woman he’d become fond of and since he had no idea how on earth to flirt or whether or not that would even be appropriate; cutting his hair was the closest thing he could get to trying to impress you.

“I just needed a change? Do you not like it?” Spencer quiered and watched as the girl’s face went through an array of emotions, eventually though she settled on a smile before shaking her head in agreement. Spencer faked offence and stuck his bottom lip out, trying his best to look saddened by her distaste for his new hair style but it only made her laugh more. After standing up again the mother quickly apologized for her daughter’s behaviour but he just mouthed back a quick “it’s okay” to her before starting to usher the kids in the direction of the children’s section.

Penelope didn’t work every day of the week unlike him so on the days without her it would only be him looking after the kids, nothing had ever gone wrong before but sometimes he did worry that with around fourteen kids at the lowest around that he’d lose track of one or someone would get hurt somehow. It hadn’t happened yet but there was always that fear when dealing with another person’s child, he was for the next few hours their caregiver and that was a important thing.

One of Spencer’s main goals with the club was to help the children with their reading, there were so many books to choose from that they’d always find something they wanted to read. He’d go round and help each child if they were struggling and ask what they liked about the book so far, getting an idea of what sort of genre they liked so he could help them find books in the future but also if the library ever took donations he had an idea who would want to read what. So when he walked the rest of the children across to the section in the corner of the library and found everyone reading, proud was a bit of an understatement.

The children’s section of the library was full of bright colours, since the library itself was quite old they hadn’t been permitted to paint the walls like they had originally planned so they had spent whatever time they had to spare together painting on canvas and knitting, creating whatever they could to then stick onto the walls and make it a far more pleasant place to the kids to spend their time opposed to the dull brown the rest of the library possessed which Spencer himself liked but understood how the kids could find it boring.

“Were you talking with my mom?” Spencer looked down when he heard Cameron’s voice, he hadn’t looked up from the book he was reading which was the first Harry Potter book, Spencer didn’t have the heart to tell him that it might be a little difficult for him to read which was why he was still on the first few pages after having it for a few weeks. Was it appropriate to tell him what they had been speaking about? Probably not, he didn’t want to lie though. Just because he was young it didn’t mean he deserved to not be involved with discussions with his own life, children were often smarter than adults gave them credit so Spencer made a decision.

“I was.” Spencer sat down in front of Cameron on the rug Penelope had taken from her apartment and donated to the library, it was purple and fluffy and nice to play with when Spencer felt a little nervous. “I wanted to know if you were doing okay, you seemed sad.”

“I’m not sad.” Cameron closed the book and looked across at Spencer, when it came to the people in his life there weren’t a lot he trusted. He had you and for so many years he had relied on you for everything as he had been taught at a young age from the other kids around him that they didn’t like him, the teachers weren’t fond either. That was a damaging thing for a child to think about themselves, that they were unlikable and it in turn made him not like himself. Despite what other people might think he was a smart kind, just not in the conventional way and Spencer could see that.

Spencer didn’t believe Cameron, he didn’t want to burden anyone with his feelings so he was hiding then; Spencer had done that trick a lot as a child but it never helped anyone, it certainly didn’t help himself. There wasn’t much he could do though apart from be there for him, so he reached over to the book of Cameron’s lap and flipped to the front page, patting the empty space beside him and watching as Cameron crawled next to him.

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” Spencer began to read, a few of the other children overheard him and dropped their books and started sitting around him. They all loved getting read to by him, Spencer did all the voices and when Penelope was there she’d bring her prop box and they’d get to play dress up as the character of whatever book he was reading. “They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.”

Soon enough he had almost all the kids sat around him, some laying down on the rug and others clutching their knees tightly to their chest. Some were thinking about when it was time to get snacks and a drink and some were completely immersed in Spencer’s voice and the story he was telling, they could however all agree upon that time flew by too fast when they were with their favourite librarian.


	3. Chapter Three.

ou flipped through the clothes on the rack, searching for anything that was Cameron’s size but coming up short, the majority of the clothes were for babies or toddlers at the most neither of which would fit his ever growing body. He had been gaining some puppy fat which you weren’t too worried about, you’d been doing your best to get him out of the house whenever you could so he was getting plenty of exercise but that small weight gain was just a reminder he was getting older and it made you feel both proud and scared. Soon he was going to start getting taller and while it wouldn’t be by a lot it was still something that told you your baby was no longer that tiny baby you held in your arms six years ago.

He didn’t necessarily need new clothes but with his small weight gain you thought it would be nice to treat him, now that you didn’t have to worry about finding somewhere for him to be while you were at work you had been able to pick up longer shifts at two of your jobs and that meant you weren’t struggling as much with money as you had been. Things were still tight but you didn’t feel as bad doing something like going around and looking through the thrift shops, maybe letting Cameron choose something as a gift.

Ever since he had started going to the library on a daily basis he had been reading far more, at home you didn’t have all that many books so thankfully he was aloud to take books home with him. The table beside his bed had become a ever growing pile of books, a small mountain of stories you never would have expected Cameron to be interested in and yet here he was. You recalled coming and picking him up from the library and Spencer telling you how he had been like he did with all the parents, he told you about how Cameron was trying hard to improve his reading skills and he showed a great interest in stories he had chosen out. It was strange to hear because Cameron had never been interested all that much in books, he was a much more active kid and enjoyed running around causing havoc in your apartment and having him actually want to sit down quietly and read was almost like a miracle.

Cameron was sat down beside you while you went through the clothes rack, he had a book in his hands and his face was furrowed in a frown as he concentrated on the words in front of him. He was still reading the first Harry Potter book but without Spencer’s help and his fun voices for each character it was more difficult to read than he expected, most of the words he didn’t understand and wasn’t processing but he wanted to make you both proud of him hence why he was still reading it. You knew it was still too difficult for someone his age but you couldn’t just take it away from him as you worried he would lose all his will to read again.

“How about this?” You pulled out a blue t shirt around about his size, you looked down at Cameron to see him looking up at the shirt with a curious look. His mouth was slightly agape so you could see the gummy spot where his front teeth should be, the hint of his adult teeth coming in which was just another thing that had you thinking about how grown up he was getting. Eventually Cameron nodded his head and looked back down at his book, his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth as he dragged his finger down the page slowly.

You added the shirt to the other few items you had hanging over your arm before reaching down and ruffling Cameron’s hair to let him know you were leaving now, he put the bookmark Penelope had gifted him with into the book before closing it and with your help got up off of the floor before walking towards the till. Everything came in at around 10 dollars in total so you handed a note over and waited patiently for your chance, looking over to the entrance when you heard the bell ring to notify someone else had entered the shop. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw who it was, carrying a trash bag filled with something.

At the sight of Spencer Cameron darted away from your side and hurried towards him, wanting to show him how much he had read since Thursday. It was now Saturday which meant the club wasn’t on, you’d taken the day off of work in the hopes that before next week you could find someone who could look after Cameron while you were out, hence why you were getting to spend more time together which in reality was what you wanted. Spencer looked down when he saw someone rushed towards him and his face lit up when he saw who it was, he quickly scanned the room for you and when his eyes did finally land on you he couldn’t help but smile.

“Fancy seeing you here.” You tried your best to seem casual despite how fast your heart was beating, Spencer looked positively adorable in a charcoal grey cardigan that was a little too long for him and came down over his hands and something that was new were his glasses. You had never seen him wear them before but you’d quickly decided that you enjoyed the look, it made him look even more like a librarian as if there was a certain look for that. “I like your glasses.”

The compliment was one that Spencer hadn’t expected because he didn’t think the glasses were all that attractive, he didn’t wear them usually as his contacts made him feel much more comfortable oddly but the solution he used was irritating his eyes on this particular day so the glasses it was. He didn’t mind as much now that you’d express your like for them, maybe he’d start wearing them more often.

“Thank you. How are you both today?” Spencer asked while walking towards towards the till before putting the trash bag up on the counter, inside were a lot of old books the library sometimes liked to donate after not being checked out for a long period of time. They got plenty of books donated to them from people so it just seemed like the appropriate cycle to follow, plus there were still plenty of people who didn’t even know about the library or who wanted books to keep but couldn’t pay the full prices for a brand knew copy.

“We’re going to get ice cream.” Cameron said before you could speak, you’d seen an ice cream shop on the way to the thrift store and while he had asked to get some you had said no as you didn’t want him to fill his stomach with ice cream when he had dinner to look forward to. Of course Cameron knew this and had only said it so now you couldn’t say no, he was a smart kid and you doubted that he didn’t know that you had a crush on Spencer, it seemed like the sort of thing he would be able to pick up on. Spencer said a quick thank you to the lady working the till before turning back around to face you and Cameron.

“Oh, from the parlour near the park? They do some of the best ice cream, the coffee flavour is my favourite.” Spencer explained with a warm smile before moving out of the way of a couple that had just entered the shop. You put your hand on Cameron’s shoulder and moved him along with you, it was then Spencer noticed the book in his hands. “You’re still reading, huh? That’s good to see, what chapter are you on.”

“Eight.” Spencer had read up to near the end of chapter seven for all of the kids so while it wasn’t a big leap it was still something to be proud of, even the smallest of improvements was something to celebrate. He crouched down to Cameron’s level and put his hand up, knowing that he would immediately give him a high five. You stood and watched the two interact, it was nice seeing Cameron have a man in his life he could talk to and felt comfortable around. He didn’t like any of his male teachers at school and while plenty of children grew up without a male figure and were perfectly fine it was still nice for him to have someone like Spencer around.

“I think that’s deserving of some ice cream.” Spencer could tell by the look on your face that you weren’t actually planning to go to the ice cream parlour and that Cameron had just made it up but he still decided to play along. Plus, Cameron’s face lit up into a smile when he heard what Spencer said and he looked back to you with both a look of defiance and hope. You couldn’t say no to him now, not with both him and Spencer looking at you like that. All you could do was sigh and nod your head, Spencer stood back up straight once Cameron rushed back over to you.

It was then that you had an idea, you didn’t really know how you were supposed to act around Spencer because he wasn’t one of Cameron’s teachers but he was still a similar authority figure and maybe it wasn’t appropriate to be interacting so casually. Yet again, what harm was there to come? You were just being friendly and Cameron seemed to really enjoy spending time with Spencer now that he’d gotten used to him so maybe it was a good thing to have him around.

“Would you like to come with us? If you’re not busy that is.” You told yourself you were asking for the sake of Cameron, not because you had a stupid crush and wanted to spend more time with Spencer. Your time together was limited to a few minutes a day Monday to Friday and yet those minutes were quickly becoming something you looked forward to, your stomach would fill with butterflies at just the thought of getting the simplest thing as a smile from him.

Spencer answered quicker than you had expected quickly saying yes but then looking slightly embarrassed at how fast he had answered, worried he might have come across as too eager but if anything it just made you feel more relieved. Cameron reached up and held your hand before starting to walk in the direction of the door, you just looked back at Spencer and gestured for him to follow after you which he did.

The walk to the ice cream parlour wasn’t a long one but you found yourself walking slower than usual so you had more time to talk with Spencer. You didn’t really know all that much about him since both of your attentions were focused on Cameron but it was nice to learn about him. He told you about how he used to go to that same library when he was a child and spend hours there reading when the other kids were hanging out with their friends. He didn’t go into details but he said that his mother wasn’t very well and so sometimes he would just go there and try and escape from some of the stress. Hearing about how the library had improved his life gave you hopes for how it would help Cameron.

There were only so many questions you could ask that would hint to whether or not he was single without having to explicitly ask that question, for a few days you thought that maybe he was dating Penelope but you overheard another one of the mothers who brought their kid talking about how she had a girlfriend, she seemed very much distraught by this realisation. Spencer however never hinted to the mentions of a girlfriend or even a boyfriend, it was both encouraging but also eating away at you.

“What do you want, little man? Chocolate as usual?” You asked Cameron once you were at the start of the line, he had his hands pressed up against the glass and was peering through to look at all the different flavours of ice cream. Soon enough he nodded his head and you stole a quick glance before deciding on just plain vanilla. “What about you, Spencer? Coffee?”

“Actually I think I’ll try chocolate.” Spencer said before reaching into his bag and rummaging around until he found his wallet, you went to tell him it wasn’t necessary but Spencer had already handed over the money before you even had the chance to open your mouth. Cameron looked back at Spencer with wonder in his eyes before turning his small body to face him completely.

“Can I have a flake?” Neither you or Spencer could stop the smiles that rose on your face at Cameron’s request, it was a little cheeky considering Spencer was being nice to pay for everything but he still fished around in his wallet for the few extra coins needed and passed them over to the lady across the counter before she stuck a chocolate flake into the scoop of chocolate ice cream sat atop the cone. You first gave Cameron his ice cream, then handing Spencer his but also yours.

“I need to pop to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” You had no issues with leaving Cameron with Spencer, you’d done so for almost a month now and completely trusted him. That couldn’t be said for a lot of the people in your life so he was special in that sense. Spencer just nodded his head and flashed a quick tight lipped smile as you darted past towards the public bathrooms sat in the middle of the park.

Cameron and Spencer walked together out of the parlour and went towards a bench near the edge of the grass, despite it being autumn it was still somewhat warm and it was nice to sit outside with a cold treat. A lot of the flowers and plants were dying or rather not in season but the trees were shedding pretty rust coloured leaves so it wasn’t all that bad. Spencer found it interesting that people loved fall, all the orange leaves were there because they were dead and yet everyone found them so beautiful. Sometimes it was difficult to shut off his profiler brain and not just question everything around him but he couldn’t help but wonder why that was.

“Do you like my mom?” Cameron’s soft voice brought Spencer back, he looked down at him to see chocolate smeared all around his mouth and his eyes big and curious while looking up at him. He didn’t doubt that Cameron was a smart kid and knew exactly what he was talking about yet Spencer chose to not know the true meaning of his question in the hopes he wouldn’t have to answer it for real.

“I do, she’s a nice person, a good mom.” Spencer answered before taking a lick of the ice cream, it wasn’t as good as the coffee one he had gotten before but he’d only gotten this one in the hopes it would somehow make Cameron warm to him more. He watched as Cameron rolled his eyes before taking a bite of the flake.

“Do you like like her?” Cameron put emphasis on the first “like” and Spencer found himself blushing, he almost thought that it wasn’t every day that he was interrogated by a six year old but it actually happened more often than not. He couldn’t say yes because he didn’t really know himself how he felt, he thought you were a good person and mother like he had just said but you were also extremely pretty and he’d even caught himself wondering how he would ask you out on a date if that situation were to ever come around.

“We’re just friends.” Technically, it wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t the answer Cameron wanted though because before Spencer could continue to defeat the platonic nature of your relationship he was speaking again.

“I don’t have any friends.” Cameron started to speak and Spencer was between wanting to smile because of the slight lisp in his voice due to his missing front teeth and feeling sad because he knew all too well the situation Cameron was in. “But you get really red when you look at her and she gets red when she looks at you. I think that means you like her.”

If Cameron had noticed this then had other people? Had you noticed? He considered himself to be rather observant but he’d never seen you blushing because of him, him on the other hand he knew was unusually easy to get flustered when it came to you. Maybe it would have been easier to know how he felt if he knew why Cameron was asking, did he want him to like you or did he not? He didn’t know much about the relationship between him and his dad and wasn’t about to ask but was that something he had been craving? There were too many questions and not enough time to find the answers because before he knew it you were beside him and taking your ice cream from his hand.

“Thanks! Should we go for a walk around the park?” Spencer nodded his head quickly and stood up, Cameron was more leisurely in his response and took a few more licks of his ice cream before he stood up and as usual intertwined his hand with yours. As you began walking Spencer’s hand brushed up against yours and neither of you jerked away from the touch, you didn’t start holding hands or anything but it certainly wasn’t a touch either of you were objected to.

 


	4. Chapter Four.

Another month or so passed by with Cameron heading to the library after school every week day, you were starting to notice the changes in his personality and general happiness and frankly it made you quite emotional to see. He had suggested you start reading together at bedtime, you’d crawl into his small bed beside him and try not to fall off while he continued with those stories of wizardry and magic, the stories he had fallen completely in love with. When he learnt there were movies Cameron begged you to let him watch them and as mothers so often had to do you had to come up with something for him to earn the privilege to have a treat. You suggested that if he could stay out of trouble for the week then you’d rent the movies for him and you’d have a movie day at the weekend, and Cameron did exactly that.

You couldn’t tell if the reason he’d had such a change in attitude was because of spending times with other kids who probably understood him better than the kid at school because they too a parent who couldn’t dedicate all their time to being with them like they probably wanted and some were troubled like he was, or if it was because of the positive outlook Spencer had brought into his life. Cameron spoke about Spencer as if he was a father figure, someone who he wanted to make proud by doing everything perfectly even though Spencer had told him on many occasions that him just being there was enough to make him proud. Ever since his father left you’d been worried that perhaps something might have been missing in Cameron’s life, he didn’t need a father to succeed and be a good person but sometimes there’s nothing more a little boy wants than to be like his dad; that’s difficult when there’s no one there to look up to.

Now he had Spencer to look up to and you could already see the things he was trying to emulate from him, mainly physical things like how Spencer dragged his finger down a page while reading to himself or the way his nose would twitch occasionally. Cameron probably thought he was being sly with the way he tried to copy Spencer but it was clear as the day, you supposed it was good that he’d found a male role model who was more than decent, not just some random guy completely focused on boosting his masculinity. Spencer was a good person and if Cameron was ever going to look up to someone who wasn’t you, you were glad it was him.

Halloween was coming up and you still hadn’t managed to get Cameron to decide on a costume to wear, you didn’t have a lot of money to make anything extravagant but the shops had some cheap costumes and you were sure you could make them better if needed. You suggested every superhero imaginable and then every villain, the basic halloween costumes like a zombie or vampire, nothing seemed to be taking his fancy though. He wasn’t picky exactly but he couldn’t always make decisions and therefore would end up making none at all, leaving you to make the call.

You weren’t about to go out trick or treating with him wearing no costume, especially because we was already getting older and you didn’t know how much longer you had with him even wanting to celebrate Halloween like this. It was only one day after going and picking Cameron up from the library that he finally managed to decide on what he wanted to be, of course with the help of Spencer. When you realised that Spencer was someone who Cameron felt comfortable enough around to share things with another realisation followed which was you weren’t alone anymore in this. Someone was on your side and suddenly the panic that had made a home in your chest from the moment your son was born suddenly felt manageable, your ribs no longer struggling with the weight of trying to keep themselves supported against this worry.

“Cameron’s just picking a book to bring home.” Spencer explained to you as he walked up, he looked adorably smart in his striped shirt and polka dot tie which technically didn’t really go together well at all yet somehow still worked together for him. You just smiled and nodded before peering over his shoulder to see if you could see Cameron, even though it had only been few hours you still missed him immensely and just the sight of him would make you feel better. You saw him up on his tiptoes trying to pick a book from the shelves, his little tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on not falling down. “We finished Chamber of Secrets today so I can only assume he’s going to be getting the next book in the collection.”

Then, Spencer’s expression changed as something he had been meaning to talk to you about popped back into his mind and he quickly turned round to the front desk and leant over it, you watched with a fond yet confused expression as he rifled around all the papers on the desk before finding the letter he had been meaning to give you. He fixed his hair before turning around, awkwardly clearing his throat before handing you the letter.

“Since Halloween lands on a Tuesday this year we’re going to be holding a costume competition, there won’t actually be a main winner because we don’t want to make anyone feel bad but I think Garcia will either be purchasing some candy for the kids or make something. Either way, I just need your permission for Cameron to take part in it all, there’ll be other Halloween related activities we just need to work on those first.” Spencer explained as you read down the letter, basically saying everything he had just said with a little space at the bottom for you to sign, this wasn’t the first time you’d had to sign something for Spencer so you knew the drill. He quickly handed you a pen which was in the top pocket of his shirt and you leant against the desk while you signed your name.

Just after you signed the paper you felt someone tug on your shirt and you knew right away who it was, dropping the pen onto the desk before turning around and scooping Cameron up into your arms with ease, he was clutching Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban like how Spencer had suggested he would be and looked far more relaxed than he had done upon arriving. Despite going for a few months now Cameron was still a little apprehensive around the other kids, he hadn’t done anything wrong and that might of been the problem, that he was worried he might do eventually.

“There’s my boy, how was it?” You beamed down at Cameron, never had he complained about the library and nor did you think he would but you still liked to check and make sure it had been okay. It was normal to worry, he could be sensitive to things at times and not everyone knew him as well as you did. You knew how to keep him happy and what to avoid saying, it was completely possible that another child might accidentally hurt his feelings and there was nothing you could do about it at that moment.

“Good, I managed to say gar…” Cameron looked over your shoulder at Spencer who had realised what Cameron was going to try and say and had begun mouthing the word out to him, he just frowned and tried to read the librarian’s lips before remembering how to say the word. “Gar…goyle. Gargoyle!” With his lisp things were still pretty hard for Cameron to say sometimes, it would most likely go away when his front teeth came in which they were beginning to do but until then he still struggled saying certain words. It wasn’t some big complicated word but for a six year old who hadn’t read much in his life it was a huge success.

“Wow! Look at you, little man. Turns out all that reading is helping you out!” Pride was not a strong enough word to express how you felt, when you turned to look at Spencer you noticed that he too looked proud of what Cameron had accomplished. It made sense, he’d been the one helping Cameron out all those weeks and had gotten him into reading so to see that his hard work had paid off would clearly be a prideful thing.

Like before, you noticed how Spencer’s expression changed as another thought came to mind, he recalled Cameron mentioning how he didn’t know what he was going to be for Halloween when another kid mentioned that they were going to be wonder woman and Spencer had been offering suggestions that you too had given Cameron to what he could be but it oddly enough wasn’t until he saw you in his arms, clutching that book that an idea finally popped into his mind.

“Cameron, have you thought about going as Harry Potter for Halloween?” You immediately pictured Cameron in little round glasses and a tiny lightning bolt on his forehead, a wand and robe and it was a positively adorable image. He also seemed to like the image because he wiggled out of your arms and started going on about all the stuff you would need, a tie that was red with yellow stripes because Harry was a Gryffindor - Cameron told you and you just nodded your head in agreement, turning to look at Spencer so you could mouth a quick “thank you” to him.

“I’ll see you next week, have a good weekend.” Spencer’s smile was warm and following on in the list of things you found adorable that day, it was a Friday which meant you weren’t going to see him until Monday and you were a little thankful for that because it gave you time to try and do your best with Cameron’s costume before Tuesday.

“Bye Spencer.” Cameron spoke before you could say your own goodbye, he sounded sad but was also probably just wanted to get back home so he could start on his book while you made dinner. That was another thing he’d promised to do, actually eat the food you put in front of him because while he wasn’t a picky eater he could sometimes just not feel like eating what you had made him. Because you’d been able to pick up extra shifts at your jobs you had been able to purchase actual healthy foods and not just a variation of microwavable meals and takeout.

You offered a small wave which Spencer returned before leaving, his attention was quickly drawn away by another mother who was asking about the letter and whether or not there was going to be anything scary taking place because her daughter got scared of literally anything. Spencer focused his attention onto her and her questions but in the back of his head was replaying the way you smiled at him before you had left. He felt like a schoolgirl caught up in a playground crush, it was reaching the point where he wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up daydreaming while writing something and found your initials and his together surrounded by a heart in the margins of his paper. There was nothing he could do about it though, it seemed inappropriate that he make any advances towards you since his job was working with your child and people might think there was some favouritism going on, so he kept it a secret within his own head.

Since Cameron had done exactly as you asked and been good the whole week you did as you had promised and rented the first two movies, not wanting to ruin the rest of the books he had to read. He sat on the carpet in front of the TV and watched intently while you did your best attempt to sew little red and yellow stripes across the hem of the grey sweater you had picked up at the local thrift store. You’d also picked up some fabric to attempt to sew a tie the colours Cameron told you they had to be, some round glasses and a toy wand. He could wear his school shirt and trousers to complete the look, while it wasn’t the most exciting or well made costume to ever exist is was what Cameron wanted and that was all that mattered.

You were willing to bet there was not a kid in town who was more excited about their costume than Cameron was, on Tuesday after school he pulled his sweater and on over his school shirt and switched his tie out for his new one, putting on the glasses and then drawing a shaky lighting bolt onto his forehead in your eyeliner once you were parked outside the library. There were plenty of others kids going in with their store bought costumes, higher quality and then there were kids with parents like you who had to do the best they could with what they had. It was humbling to see and while you didn’t think Cameron was all that worried about people making fun of his homemade costume it was a relief to know it probably wasn’t going to happen.

Upon walking inside you spotted Spencer and Penelope stood at the desk, she was in the process of sliding a headband with cat ears on it through his hair and then fussing with it until it was perfect. She was completely decked out in orange and black as was the library which had fake cobwebs and and little pumpkins placed around. At the desk was a bowl filled with candy and then nearer the children’s section were the variety of sweet and savoury snacks Penelope had brought alone for the kids to indulge in while they were there. The effort that had been put in for the kids was so evident, it only made you like these people even more.

“Oh wow! Look at you, the chosen one is here!” Penelope squealed excitedly when Cameron ran up, waving his wand around as she crouched down in front of them. You couldn’t hear what she and Cameron were talking about as Spencer had quickly walked up to greet you instead of the other way round. He looked even cuter up close, those little ears pointing up out of his curly locks were too precious to handle. He, in fact, was too precious to handle.

“Nice ears.” Spencer reached up bashfully and touched the felt ears, he hadn’t had time to pick out a costume since he was too busy fixing up the library so Penelope took it into her own hands and had rummaged around in her costume chest she’d brought for the kids who also didn’t have a costume until she found the cat ears.

“Thank you. Cameron looks great, you did a good job.” You couldn’t stop staring at the embarrassed look on Spencer’s face, the pink hue colouring his cheeks making them look even more kissable. Well, he always did but there was something about right then that made it even more highlighted. It was clear Spencer loved Halloween, someone who didn’t wouldn’t have put this much effort into making it an exciting time for everyone so maybe he was just caught up in the rush of it all. Or as you had originally thought, he was blushing because of you.

Despite wanting to stay longer you did have work and you had been a little later than usual getting to the library because of Cameron’s costume change so as much as you would have liked to stay and exchange flirty comments with Spencer there really wasn’t the time. Instead you quickly beconned Cameron back over to give him a kiss on the top of his head and tell him to have a good time, then saying a quick goodbye to both Spencer and Penelope before hurrying out the way you came.

Penelope had sneakily been watching the way you and Spencer had interacted, she could tell even from the thirty second interaction you had that you liked him and he in return liked you. If she could notice it then there was no way that the other parents hadn’t, a simple look to Spencer’s face and the lovestruck expression it held after speaking to you said it all.

She wasn’t the only one who had noticed, Cameron knew that there was something going on between you and Spencer and he honestly didn’t mind at all. He loved you and he liked Spencer, it would be nice to have someone to talk about when all the other kids at school talked about their dads and he also wanted you to be happy. That was the main thing, he may have been young but he knew that you spent so much of your time looking after him, worrying about him and never did you pay all that much attention to yourself. If it turned out that Spencer did like you like he had suggested before back in the park, Cameron would be the first to announce that he knew it.

He didn’t know what it was like to have a dad, but if dads were anything like Spencer then he knew they were pretty damn good.

 


	5. Chapter Five.

Because it was Halloween the library was open longer than usual for the kids whose parents couldn’t take them out trick or treating like they probably wanted to, work did not always care that they had a child at home who deserved another Halloween with their parent and while it felt unfair at least they were with people who really only cared about making sure they had a good time. There was plenty of candy there and Penelope had gone through the trouble of collecting little pumpkin baskets for all the kids to bring back home their treats, not only sweet things but also little gifts from all the activities she had set up. Such activities involved the costume contest but she’d created enough categories so that every kid won one, of course there was pumpkins but instead of carving them the children instead just drew their designs on and also many arts and crafts activities.

Spencer had always loved Halloween and sharing that love with a bunch of kids who like him didn’t all have the greatest relationship with their parents was incredibly gratifying for him. All he wanted was to make a difference somehow and he knew that giving these children memories they could treasure and positive experiences instead of just sitting at home alone of Halloween while their parents weren’t there for whatever reason, well that was biggest difference he could make in this line of work.

It wasn’t always perfect like this though, Spencer knew that less and less children had been coming over the years and even though there were enough now for Spencer to barely be able to handle on his own, it wasn’t nearly as good as last year and the years before that. People would rather take their kids to a daycare, have a babysitter, half the town didn’t even know the library existed because it was so underused. The people who did come in to get books were usually elderly people or young kids with their parents, there were whole generations out there who weren’t visiting and that was bad for business. He hated to think of it like a business because it didn’t feel like that but it was and soon or later the locals were going to decide that their funding was better off somewhere else.

Thinking that one day people might decide that the library was somehow not worthy being kept around broke Spencer’s heart, he could just look around and now he was surrounded by so much history and so many stories that needed to be told. Maybe he was old fashioned but nothing could feel as good as having a book in your hands, practically able to feel the adventures you were about to go on through your fingertips as you turned each thin page. So many people loved being there, loved working there and loved spending time there and while it might have not been only a small section of the town who thought so; it was still a lot.

Spencer was brought out of his thoughts by a gentle tug on his cardigan, he looked down from where he had been leaning against the wall and was met with Lucy. She had almost white blonde hair and a round face like her mother’s, despite being quiet a majority of the time she was always trying to make friends with the other kids and especially tried to make friends with Penelope who Spencer could see her already trying to model herself over. She had a store bought witch costume on along with the pointed hat, he could see all the candy she had stuffed into her pockets in an attempt to hide it from the other children.

“Are you a cat?” Lucy asked in reference to the cat ears Penelope had forced him into wearing, it wasn’t exactly a particularly good costume and usually Spencer would have put far more effort in but all his attention had been on making sure everything had been good for the kids, ever since both him and Penelope had started working there they had done costumes together. He liked to be scary and that wasn’t the best idea around a bunch of six year olds, so maybe the cat ears were his best option.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Spencer nodded and crouched down so that they could talk face to face, most children preferred it when they felt on the same level as the adults they were talking to and besides, he didn’t like having to look down on them either. Lucy contemplated on Spencer’s words for a few seconds before frowning, genuine confusion coming over her face.

“Cats aren’t scary.” All Spencer could do was laugh and nod his head in agreement, there were children running around now who looked more threatening than he ever would in his felt cat ears but maybe that was a good thing. It allowed them to feel like they were the best at something and Spencer didn’t mind being teased a little for his lacklustre costume. He straightened back up before ushering Lucy back over to where activities were taking place, going back to join the fun after having his short break. It didn’t take him long to to realise though that there was someone missing, there wasn’t any sight of those round glasses or bright red and yellow tie.

Instead of asking Penelope where Cameron was, Spencer decided to go looking for him silently. If something had happened then it was better not to make a big fuss of it all, besides while the library was big he couldn’t have gone far. Or at least that was what Spencer was telling himself because it was better than having to come to the realisation he might have to tell you that he accidentally lost your son, that hadn’t happened before in all the years he had worked there and he certainly wasn’t trying to break that track record any time soon. Penelope was still with the kids and was doing okay so Spencer felt okay taking some time to go looking, better him than anyone else but he felt like he could relate better to Cameron.

It didn’t take him very long to find him, he was sat down one of the aisles with a book perched in his lap. His fake glasses laying down on the floor beside him so he could read easier, it was yet another Harry Potter book which were obviously his new favourites and Spencer couldn’t say he particularly blamed Cameron for coming and sitting here by himself. He wasn’t exactly a very interactive kid, he liked being by himself probably because when he did interact with other people his age it didn’t always end up so well. Cameron could be told a million times now that he wasn’t a bad kid but it had been ingrained into him already that he was troubled, what he didn’t understand was that he could still be good even if he had his issues.

“Hey, mind if I sit with you?” Spencer asked in a soft voice, not moving from the end of the aisle until Cameron looked up from his book and nodded his head. The sounds of the other children’s excitement was still audible so Cameron had been able to hear all the fun they were having and yet had stayed by himself. Spencer wondered if was really okay being by himself, it can’t have helped his self esteem to know that he wasn’t necessarily needed around and that no one had gone looking for him. He was here now though, he cared and so did everyone else, it was just difficult to get everyone to show that. “Why are you here by yourself?”

Instead of replying Cameron just gestured down to the book as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which it could have been because Spencer just made a soft “ohh” noise before he sat down beside Cameron. They were leaning up against the bookshelves, if he pushed too hard then it was possible that he’d push all the books out the other end and fall over. While they could both still hear the other children it was significantly more peaceful, they were dulled down and the warm lights above them mixed with the fake cobwebs Spencer had made sure to put down every single aisle, it was atmospheric to say the least.

“My mom really likes you.” Cameron said eventually without looking up from his book and this time Spencer wasn’t as shocked, they’d gone through this before back at the park and Spencer’s answer would still be the same. You were only friends and he did like you, he just wasn’t about to admit to liking you more than just being friends. And even if he were to admit it, what was going to happen? It wasn’t like he could just waltz into your life and interrupt what you had going, clearly you and Cameron had a way you went about your lives and he was still adjusting to having the change of not being with his mom all the time.

“So you told me.” Spencer met Cameron’s eyes this time, it wasn’t like he’d never looked at him before but in that moment he could tell just how much Cameron looked like you. Different eyes but a similar bone structure and nose shape. The same hair colour and texture too, he wondered that if you looked at him often and noticed the similarities, Spencer wasn’t a parent but he imagined he would do little else if he had a child who shared his features.

“You should go on a date.”

He had been expecting for Cameron to say something involving getting Spencer to confess for liking you like you liked him but what was not expected was for him to suggest you go out together. Spencer wasn’t quite sure as to why he was so eager to get you together, most kids from single parents felt incredibly protective over the attention they got given from them and wouldn’t want to share it with anyone. When they eventually got partners or anyone new was brought into the mix the child got angry and felt like they were getting replaced, and yet here was Cameron welcoming him into his life.

“Would you be okay with that? If I asked your mom out on a date?” Spencer wasn’t even sure he would end up doing it but if by some miracle he gathered the courage within him to approach you without putting on his professional face on or blushing like a schoolgirl, then he wanted to make sure it was okay with Cameron. If it wasn’t then it would be so much easier for him to move on from this crush he had on you, he was about to burst his way into someone’s life if he wasn’t wanted there so he had to double check. Cameron bent the corner of the book before closing it and looking up at Spencer, he nodded his head and flashed him a quick toothless smile before pulling himself off of the floor. Spencer watched as Cameron tucked the book under his arm before bending down to pick up his glasses again, sliding them on with ease before starting to walk down the aisle.

Spencer sat there quietly for a few more moments after Cameron had left to go get one of the little cupcakes Penelope had made with orange icing on top, a shabby attempt at pumpkins but at least she tried. There was still the issue of it being slightly inappropriate since your son visited the place he worked and people might think that he was going to place favouritism over Cameron if you started dating you but that would only be an issue if people found out. He wasn’t interested in sharing the details of his private life with everyone and he could picture you being the same way, besides it was only one date.

He pushed it to the back of his mind once he reunited back with Penelope, it was easy to focus on making sure the kids were entertained and happy than to think about how on earth he was going to approach you. The last time he had gone out on a date had been years ago and after that failed he had managed to convince himself that he didn’t need to date anyone anyways, he enjoyed his own company and he had plenty of ways to keep himself from feeling lonely. It also wasn’t like he desperately needed companionship now, it was just that speaking with you and getting to spend time with you and Cameron felt so natural. Like it was meant to be in some way, Spencer didn’t believe in all that stuff in reality but after reading so much about love at first sight and soulmates it had practically absorbed into his way of thinking.

When the parents started to come back to collect their kids Spencer managed to continue to distract himself from the impending sense of dread he felt at the possibility of getting regretted by you and therefore messing up the once place you felt safe enough to leave Cameron. He’d been so caught up with his own feelings that he’d forgotten to even contemplate the possibility that you would say no, it was completely possible because even on the off chance that you did like him in return, who was to say that you decided you didn’t want anyone in your life who would take your attention off of Cameron? It was more than possible and the tiniest bit of hope that Spencer had within him quickly vanished like blowing out a candle.

As usual, by the time you arrived Cameron was still not ready and instead was involved in a deep conversation with Penelope about his book. Spencer decided that this was as good of a time as any to approach you, just in case once you had Cameron you would just vanish immediately. He quickly removed the cat ears he’d begrudgingly worn the whole time as he approached you and instead held them tight by his side, you watched as he took them off and couldn’t help but pout.

“Aw, you looked nice in those!” You smiled up at Spencer who was already blushing, usually it took him at least a few minutes into the sentence for his cheeks to get red but he was already looking a little flustered. He just smiled and took a quick glance down at the ears, wondering if he should have maybe kept them on since you seemed to think they were cute. It was too late now and he wanted to get what he needed to say out there, or else he might end up just not saying anything at all.

“Thank you. You look nice as well, I mean you always do but today you’re just…you look lovely.” Spencer rambled on and did his best to do all his cringing on the inside, his flirting was now so obvious that whatever attempts he had planned of being smooth had just gone out the window. You were surprised by his compliments but not in a bad way, you just hadn’t expected Spencer to be so forward. He could take charge on occasion as part of his job but on a day to day basis he seemed timid, not the kind to just randomly throw compliments out there. “I, um- I wanted to ask you something…if that’s alright?”

You smiled up and him and nodded your head and Spencer noticed yet another similarity between you and Cameron, that same hopeful smile and look in your eyes. It gave him the little confidence boost that he needed to ask the question, all he could do was hope that you wanted the same thing that Cameron did or else things would reach a whole new level of awkward.

“I was thinking that perhaps…me and you could could do something together. Like a…like a date. You’re probably busy and I understand, you by now means have to go out with me I just though that it would be nice.” Spencer regretted each word that came out of his mouth more than the last, the look of surprise on your face was one he was never going to forget and he felt his face getting more and more hot as he went on, unable to find a good place to stop speaking.

Instead of replying right away you just looked up at him, confused and surprised over everything that had just come out of his mouth. The cute librarian you’d been pining over for a few months now had just asked you out from out of the blue and you had convinced yourself that there was no way in a million years that he’d like you like that. He came face to face with so many beautiful and strong women and men that he could have his choosing from because a majority of them had the hots for him and yet here he was, getting nervous over asking you out on a date.

“Um…yeah, that’d be great.” You said after what felt like an eternity of silence but in reality had only been around six seconds, Spencer’s eyes widened in surprise and his lashes fluttered as he processed the fact you’d just said yes to him. Quickly though he tried to recover and not acted too surprised, clearing his throat just at the time that Cameron walked over, his book in one hand and a little plastic pumpkin basket with candy in it in his other. He could tell right away that something had happened because of how hard you were smiling, you tried to smile around him a lot but he could recognise a fake smile but this one was real.

It was the realest smile he’d seen from you in a long time, and that was why he wanted Spencer to like you so badly. Cameron knew you struggled and all he wanted was his mom to be happy, and since Spencer made him happy then why couldn’t he do the same for you? It made total sense to him and by the way he saw you looking at one another, it was an idea you were both growing to love as well.


	6. Chapter Six.

It had been a long time since Spencer went out on a date, longer than he was willing to admit to anyone and it would be a lie to say he wasn’t nervous. He had so many ideas of what he could do for a date, some more extravagant than others but considering it was a first date he decided that the best idea would probably be something simple like dinner. When he asked Penelope where he should take you she squealed so loud if it was a cartoon all the windows around her would have shattered, she had a suspicion that he had a crush and when he told her that it was you he would be going out with it made perfect sense. She knew that Spencer would never show favouritism when it came to the kids but there was clearly a connection between him and Cameron, she’d never been able to put her finger on what it was exactly but a mother loved anyone who made her child happy.

Penelope had the idea for some big, beautiful dinner date under the huge Oak tree in the park, she expressed how she could string fairy lights through the branches and have there be a beautiful warm glow over the two of you while you ate dinner and expressed your love for one another. Spencer however, did not go for Penelope’s slightly more eccentric plans and instead just booked a table for two at a local restaurant after making sure that was okay with you. He knew it had been a long time since he had been out on a date but he was certain it had been longer for you, all your attention had been on Cameron and that probably meant you weren’t out and about looking for men to casually date.

You were more than surprised that Spencer had asked you out on a date, he was wonderful and handsome and more than a catch but you didn’t think he would ever be into you, not because there was anything wrong with you in particular but cute single guys like him didn’t tend to go for the single mothers. It was a sad truth that people either weren’t ready to join a family with someone else’s child or they wanted a family of their own one day with their own genes, they didn’t want someone’s leftovers so to speak and you weren’t willing to let Cameron feel even for one second that he wasn’t good enough for someone. It was one of the main reasons you said yes to going out with Spencer, you had a big crush on him sure but he treated Cameron with respect and Cameron seemed to really look up to him. Even if this date didn’t go anywhere, you knew that Spencer was going to stick around and you didn’t have to worry about Cameron.

Most kids were protective of their parents when another adult came into the picture as they felt like they were going to be replaced but Cameron was different, he always had been and he wanted you and Spencer to be together like other kids had. He listened to other kids his age talk about their moms and dads, both good and bad things and while you were everything to Cameron, he did wonder a lot what it would be like to have a dad. What did they do? Were they like moms but different somehow? If they were anything like Spencer was then he could understand why everyone was talking about their dads so much.

Spencer hadn’t told you that Cameron had practically blackmailed him into asking you out but he didn’t need to tell you, he’d been trying his best to get you into situations with Spencer like the ice cream parlour for example. It reminded you of that scene in 101 Dalmatians were the dogs ran around their owners in an attempt to push them closer, Cameron was doing as much as a six year old could do get you two together and while it was strange you knew it was also because he cared about you. He was young but people didn’t always give their kids credit for the things they noticed and Cameron knew you were lonely. You had him and that would always be enough but you missed things like laying in bed next to someone, spontaneous date nights and even some of the more intimate things. There was a big difference between spending time with a child and to an adult and for years now all your time had been with Cameron, he was becoming more and more independent now though so that started the cogs turning in your head that perhaps you could be as well.

Spencer had told you that you’d be going out to dinner together, well rather he asked you if that was okay and suggested other things you could do together if it wasn’t. Dinner sounded wonderful, you couldn’t recall the last time you had the chance to go out for a meal as when Cameron was a baby he’d always throw a fit when in a restaurant or a diner. It all felt very classic, he even told you that he was going to pick you up from your apartment and drive you there. It was then you realised that you were going to have to get a babysitter for Cameron, you didn’t know how well that was going to go over but it was only for a few hours. Surely since he had been so encouraging with the whole thing, he would be good and let you have this night out? Just in case he wasn’t though you had a sit down with him and discussed the whole thing, you talked about everything together and this was going to be no exception.

The Saturday arrived and you swore you woke up with butterflies right bubbling in your stomach, he wasn’t coming over until seven so you had plenty of time to get ready. On the weekends you were usually woken up by Cameron so when it was your own body that decided it was time to wake up, it begun the wheels turning in your head that something might have been wrong. It wasn’t until you crept into Cameron’s bedroom and and noticed he wasn’t there that truly panic set in.

Thankfully he wasn’t far and you found him sat in the bathroom against the wall, he looked extremely warm and you could tell that he had been throwing up. His forehead was damp with sweat and his body was radiating heat as you lifted him up from his armpits and held him close, your hand caressing the back of his head and you walked him back to his bedroom. You assumed the reason he was sat in the bathroom was so that he could throw up with ease but it was now cooler in his bedroom and you quickly went and got him a bucket to sit beside his bed. It didn’t look like anything serious, you recalled him mentioning how some kid at school had thrown up in class the day before so you assumed that he had just caught a bug of some kind. Whatever thoughts of Spencer went out the window as now your main priority was making sure Cameron was as comfortable as possible.

You didn’t even bother getting changed out of your pyjamas, you stayed in them the whole day as you tended to Cameron’s every need. You got him whatever food would help settle his upset stomach, helped him take a cool bath to lower his temperature, you even crawled into bed beside him when he asked you nicely to read to him because how were you supposed to say no to his sweet, sick voice? Seeing him in pain was undoubtedly the worst thing in the world, you always wanted to protect him from anything bad but this was out of your control and the only thing you could do was try and help him through it.

All of your attention had been on Cameron that you forgot to let Spencer know that you were too busy looking after your son to make the date. There was no way you were about to leave him with some random person when he was ill like this and as much as you wanted to go on that date with Spencer and feel normal again, Cameron came first always. Spencer didn’t even pop into your mind once until you were woken up by a knock at the door, at some point you had fallen asleep beside Cameron in his bed, when you looked at the clock and saw it read seven o’clock on the dot your first thought was who would be visiting you at this time? Then, like a punch to the face, you remembered what day it was and who told you they’d be coming over to pick you up at seven.

Cameron was fast asleep beside you and what you could only imagine was the long night he had you didn’t want to wake him up, so as carefully as you could manage you clambered off of the bed and tiptoed out of the soft carpeted room before pulling the door closed as slowly and quietly as you could do with the squeakiness of your apartment before making a dash to the front door. You cursed under your breath at the knowledge you were also going to have to cancel the babysitter, the one you already paid but it was okay, better his mom looking after him than some stranger.

When you opened the door you were met with the sight of Spencer looking somehow more handsome than ever, he was wearing his glasses which he knew you liked and was the only reason he’d opted for them instead of his contacts, a maroon shirt with a royal navy tie and over that a dark woolen peacoat that looked slightly worn from years of use. He of course still looked like Spencer but you’d usually seen him looking so soft, all warm or pastel colours and children at his feet so to see him now standing in your doorway looking all dark and honestly, really damn hot - it was a definite game changer.

“Hi…am I…we did say seven right? Or did I just make that up? Today was the right day, right?” Spencer begun to ramble over himself when he saw that you were still in your pyjamas, cute shorts and a tank top that shocked him a little at first considering he’d been used to seeing you in your work clothes but he managed to pull himself back together rather quickly. Maybe it was just his bad habit of doubting himself constantly but he started panicking that perhaps he’d actually made the whole thing up, he always trusted his memory after being told time after time again that it was good but this time maybe he had just gotten a little flustered while asking you up and mixed up the time and date. Of course this was all happening in his head and he managed to keep a somewhat calm yet confused appearance.

“I’m so sorry. It’s just -It’s been a long day. Cameron got sick this morning so I’ve been dealing with that all day and the date completely slipped my mind.” The one chance you had to feel normal again and you blew it, maybe he’d be okay with the reason why the date didn’t happen but there was the chance that he didn’t end up asking you on another and you’d just ruined your chances with him. It wouldn’t have taken much to just call him, if you had remembered that this was even happening tonight you would have and you still needed to call the babysitter. Spencer just looked more concerned now that you explained to him what was wrong, he too was aware a bug was going round as a few parents had called in asking if it had originated from the library - which it hadn’t.

“Is he okay?” Spencer peeked round you to see if he could see Cameron, he knew that if he was seriously ill then you wouldn’t be here you’d be at a hospital but it was in his nature to worry. People trusted him with their children because he cared about them as if were a parent himself, it had become an intricate part of himself and while he wasn’t one to always think highly of himself, he knew that if he did one day become a parent then he would be a good one. For now though he had enough time spent looking after and worrying after other people’s children to have one of his own, he felt worried for Cameron after knowing he was ill for a matter of seconds so he couldn’t imagine what it felt like for you.

“He’s sleeping right now. You can, um, come in if you want?” You didn’t really know what you were doing by inviting Spencer in, you didn’t know what you were going to do but it felt like the polite thing to do. He’d made such an effort and maybe you could make him some coffee or something, talk for a little while before eneviablably he got bored and went back home. Or maybe he would just leave instead of taking up your offer, you knew you looked less than attractive and your apartment wasn’t that clean since you hadn’t planned on inviting him in beforehand. A little part of you wanted him to leave just so you could avoid any embarrassment but he contemplated your offer for a few seconds before nodding, you quickly moved to the side and let him in before closing the front door.

Spencer followed you into the kitchen, quickly taking the note of the little stool on the floor in front of the counter which he could only assume was for Cameron when he wanted to watch what you were doing. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the thought of the two of you cooking together, Cameron resting his hands against the counter as he rose up on his tiptoes to get an even better look at what you were doing. He supposed that one of the good things about being a parent was that you essentially were gifted with a friend, a best friend in your case. It wasn’t easy by any means to be a single parent and it wasn’t Spencer’s place to ponder on whether or not you would prefer to be one or not but the bond you had to have with your son was something to be jealous of. Spencer was always helping other people with their children but he’d never had the full experience, he got a few hours with feeling like he was important and like he was making a difference before he inevitably went home and remembered just how lonely he was.

“Do you want some coffee?” You offered as you weren’t sure what else to do, keeping yourself busy seemed to be the best option since your head was still a little fuzzy from your nap and you didn’t want to just be standing there awkwardly. Once Spencer nodded his head you put the kettle onto the stove and switched on the gas, all you had around was instant coffee and while it wasn’t much it was good enough for those early mornings while you got Cameron ready for school. You were too preoccupied with the coffee to notice that Spencer’s attention had been drawn away by a variation of drawings stuck to your wall. When you turned round to ask him how he liked his coffee you were instead met with a blank space, a look around the corner lead you to him looking up at all of Cameron’s old art.

You stepped over to him and looked up at all the art you’d stuck up on the wall over the years, mothers day card (and father’s day cards, addressed to mom), glittery Christmas trees made out of card and glitter, various drawings of monsters and heroes from the stories Cameron came up with in his head, even a few paintings of him and you together. He hadn’t been creating much as of recently, you wondered if that was because he was reading more which was filling up his imaginication so he didn’t need to draw anything or if you should actually be concerned or not. All you did know was that everything on that wall meant more to you than anything else, not anything in the world could make you get rid of those gifts from him.

You both stood there silent for a while before the whistling of the kettle drew your attention away, quickly darting back into the kitchen so that the sound didn’t wake up Cameron. Spencer soon drew his attention back to you and wandered back into the kitchen after admiring all the art for a little longer, he watched as you stirred the coffee granules in with the boiling water before going and taking out the pot of sugar and then the milk from the fridge, looking over to him expectantly for him to tell you how he liked his coffee.

“Both please, and um six sugars?” He wasn’t all that sure if you were going to think he was odd for wanting that much sugar in his coffee as right now he was a little on edge with trying to make sure he was on his bestest behaviour. Penelope had given him quite the explanation as to how he was supposed to act, like himself but also…not. Spencer didn’t know what that meant exactly but he could only guess that perhaps this was something she meant? Should he had only asked for two sugars like a normal person? His fears were quickly put to rest as you chuckled and spooned in six teaspoons of sugar into his mug.

“God, you’re just like Cam.” You said in reference to his sweet tooth and Spencer smiled, a toothy grin that not everyone would have done when being essentially called a six year old. He wasn’t sure exactly why it was so nice to hear but it made him glad, Cameron was a good kid despite what others might have said and Spencer took being even the slightest bit like him as a compliment. Then again, he thought only the highest of you so that could have had something to do with it, either way he couldn’t deny even for a second that it felt right. Being there with you, it felt right.


	7. Chapter Seven.

You hadn’t really thought through what you were going to do once you invited Spencer into your apartment, it had been a long time since you’d had a handsome man in there especially one who was so nicely dressed up and after giving him his coffee you weren’t sure what else there was to do. There wasn’t an awful lot to do there, you almost suggested him staying around for dinner but your cupboards were pretty bare and you worried the noise would wake Cameron up from his sleep. You were perfectly content with just standing there and chatting with Spencer but you were worried more for his entertainment, was he alright with just standing around doing nothing? He seemed like the kind of guy who needed to be stimulated both emotionally and intellectually which was probably why he found himself walking slowly around your apartment, picking up each little detail.

“Is it okay?” You asked in reference to his coffee, Spencer just looked down at his mug before nodding, not yet taking a sip but certain it was going to be fine. He knew he should probably call the restaurant and let them know that he’d be cancelling his reservation but he also didn’t want to break the moment, everything was peaceful and he worried that if he took his phone out then it’d draw you both out and he’d end up just leaving awkwardly. Instead of doing what he knew he was supposed to be doing, Spencer found himself looking back at all of Cameron’s art work on the wall. It said a lot that you chose to display his art, a clear reminder to him and anyone that entered your apartment that you were proud of your son and were trying to encourage him through displaying his artwork. He was once told by a father that only parents could really understand a child’s art work since it was almost always a mess but Spencer made a conclusion that since he was around kids so much that he’d gained the same sort of intuition a parent had.

“My mom kept all my art in a box, granted they weren’t as creative as I only drew the characters and creatures from the literature she read to me but…she still has them to this day. Says they help her remember the good times on cloudy days.” Spencer’s voice was soft, as if he didn’t trust himself to correctly say the words coming out of his mouth. He’d told you briefly before that his mother wasn’t very well but hadn’t gone into details, it was obvious though that something was wrong because the average person didn’t look so distraught when they spoke about someone who was meant to be the most important person in their live, the reason they came into the world. Spencer didn’t have the face of someone who hated their mother, it was more like he missed her and that was a very sorry sight to be witness to.

“Does your mom still live back in your hometown?” You wanted to prevent an awkward silence from happening so you asked whatever question popped into your mind first, it was still one you were curious to know the answer to. Usually when a person went into a line of work involving kids or families it was because of their own experiences, you were curious to learn more about Spencer’s home life because while you knew he had no siblings and that he was a lonely child you didn’t know all that much about his family.

“Vegas, she’s still there.” You raised your eyebrows at the mention of Las Vegas, you’d pictured him coming from some small town in a sort of down to earth, booky type place and maybe it was just your preconceived notions about Vegas but you couldn’t picture the man in front of you being raised there. Spencer noticed the apparent look of shock on your face and smiled, chuckling at your astonishment before taking a sip of his coffee.

“You’re a Vegas boy? I never would have guessed.” You too took a sip of your coffee before your attention was drawn away by a little noise, it could have been nothing but it could also have been Cameron getting up and that was the case then it might be a bit of a shock for him to walk out and see Spencer just standing there. Spencer also heard the noise and his head whipped around to try and find the source. He was about to reply with some comment about how you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, make some dumb librarian joke but instead he stood and watched as you walked past him over to the room he suspected to be Cameron’s due to the stickers across the door.

You held your coffee in one hand opposed to warming both your hands on the mug and instead slowly pushed the door open to then peak inside, you saw that Cameron was still in his bed and facing the wall, tiny feet peeking out from either side of his blanket and his hair as mess against his pillow. By now you’d worked out a way to tell whether or not he was asleep and by the way his body would rise and fall with each gentle breath you were able to tell that he was indeed still asleep. He wasn’t very good at waking it, had a bit of a nervous twitch where his toes would wiggle while trying to keep still and keep his breath steady. Just as slowly as you had opened the door you closed it and walked back over to Spencer, avoiding the creaky parts of the floor in the hopes you wouldn’t wake Cameron up after all that.

“Is he okay?” Spencer asked with genuine concern that made your heart warm this wasn’t the first time he had shown worry and you could even say love for Cameron and while you knew this wasn’t something he reserved especially for him as that would make him pretty bad at his job but you couldn’t help but feel like he treated you both just that little bit more special. It was possible that you were imagining it but there were all those women and men fawning over him and yet here he was, standing in your apartment dressed up to go out on a date, worrying about your son who wasn’t his blood and yet still cared about how he was doing.

Your first instinct was to tell him that yes he was fine, probably just moved around in his sleep but instead you found yourself wanting to ask him to stay, even if it wasn’t the pressing matter at hand. There wasn’t much to do as you had already exhausted but you weren’t quite ready to let him go just yet, it was so rare you got time like this with him all to yourself and perhaps there was a little selfish side of you that didn’t want to let him go but was that all so bad? Spencer wanted to be with you to some extent or else he wouldn’t have came in the first place and he didn’t look like he was trying to rush anywhere soon, maybe it didn’t matter if you didn’t have anything to do if the company was good enough.

“Would you like to stay?” You blurted it out before you could think of a better way to word it, immediately feeling embarrassed for being so blunt and out of the blue with your question. Maybe it would have been better to first clear his head from worry about whether or not Cameron was okay and then offer the question but no, you made it look like you were asking him to spend the night which was completely not your intention at all and the thought that he might take it as such made you want the ground to swallow you whole. “I mean- Cameron’s okay he’s still asleep. I wanted to ask you this before, I just- you know what just pretend like I didn’t say anything.” By the time you finished rambling Spencer was beaming ear to ear and was looking at you with those warm brown eyes of his filled with admiration.

“If it’s okay with you, then yes I’d like to stay.” It was hard work to stop yourself from letting out a sigh of mutual relief and excitement, you truly didn’t know what you were going to do with him but you were certain you could work something out. Since you were both intending to go out for dinner neither of you had eaten so you could always try and make something, but then there was the issue of your cupboards being bare. There was always takeout though, while you had been excited for the experience of going out with someone since it had been so long you couldn’t deny that getting to stay a home with Spencer was also a nice idea.

It had been so long since you’d had the company of another adult without Cameron around which wasn’t at work that you found yourself practically skipping over to the kitchen in excitement, intending to rummage around in the drawers until you found the small collection of takeout menus you had accumulated over the years. Spencer watched after you fondly as he took another sip of his drink before he heard another noise similar to the last, his attention was drawn back over to where Cameron’s room was but he didn’t want to just go wandering without your permission. It was probably nothing anyways, so instead his feet started moving in the opposite direction over to you where he would help you pick one of the places and go through the menu.

Now that he knew he wasn’t leaving right away it allowed for Spencer to do things such as slip off his Converses (his nice pair, not the scruffy ones he wore usually because he was trying to impress) and his coat, hanging them up on the hangers near the front door along with both your and Cameron’s things. It was part of Spencer’s nature to notice things so he couldn’t help the fact he was being slightly nosey, he saw the scuffs on the toe of your shoes but noticed how Cameron’s shoes were well taken care off and while not brand new, definitely newer than your pair. You weren’t the type of person to spend money on things for yourself unless it was desperately needed, you’d much rather Cameron have everything he needed and that was just the role of a mom. In the background he could hear you speaking on the phone as you ordered the food, Spencer’s money already waiting on the kitchen counter for you as there was no way he was about to let you pay. It wasn’t because he thought you couldn’t afford it or anything, he just wanted to be that gentleman for once.

When you finally walked out of the kitchen and spotted Spencer he was in the process of loosening his tie, a sight you hadn’t expected to see from him and a strangely attractive one at that. You couldn’t stop the heat from flooding to your cheeks as he looked up from what he was doing and caught you staring. An awkward smile was shared as he finally managed to remove the tie, glancing around for somewhere to put it before hanging it up along with his coat before his hands returned to the top few buttons of his shirt. That time however you made yourself look away before you accidentally embarrassed yourself by letting your eyes wander or the blush on your cheeks gave you away, you mumbled about going into the living room before scurrying away and letting Spencer watch you go. He hadn’t been doing anything to make you purposefully flustered but seeing you like that because of him was something he would have never expected and frankly, enjoyed quite a bit.

When he did join you in the living room he found you tidying up the mess there, you hadn’t intended anyone to be coming into your home and therefore had allowed Cameron to have his mess, only because he argued it was an organised mess but he was asleep now so you took that as your chance to finally clean up. You hadn’t done an incredible job as you were trying to do it quickly, picking up his toys and books and scooping them into your arms before dumping them into the corner of the room. He watched from the doorway as you then picked up what looked to be like a homemade blanket, knitted and a little tattered but was obviously well loved by the way you so carefully folded it up and put it on the back of the couch. It was then you caught a glimpse of Spencer about of the corner of your eye and turned to face him, he looked impossibly handsome just stood there with his shirt unbuttoned not a lot but just enough to see a new peek of his flaw free pale skin and his adorable little socks on show. One sock had purple dinosaurs on it and then the other had blue anchors, if Cameron was here you were certain he would notice this as well and pick up the habit.

“Why do you wear different socks on each foot?” You asked and Spencer looked down at his feet, lifting one foot up just to get a better look despite knowing exactly what you were talking about. He didn’t really have all that much of an answer, it was just something he had always done and when he wore matching socks it felt wrong. He was sure someone could give him a reason as to why he felt compelled to do it but he didn’t want to bother you with all those explanations, so instead he just shrugged his shoulders and took that as the opportunity to actually walk into the living room. You sat down on the end of the couch as usual and Spencer took the seat in the middle beside you, not exactly cuddling up next to you but also not as far away as he could be.

Until the food arrived you chatted more about your pasts, not sharing any deep dark secrets but definitely not hiding anything either. Spencer told you about what he was like in school and how he hadn’t exactly had the easiest time and you told him how you weren’t the coolest kid on the block either, though you never had to go through some of the bullying he did. Despite being a parent and Spencer being surrounded by good children almost every day you both could agree that there were sometimes bad kids, it wasn’t always their fault but rather their parents but it got you thinking about how some people thought Cameron was a bad kid. There was a difference between a troubled child just trying to fit in and a child who actively went out to hurt others, he was only six years old and had a whole world out there to try and understand and you confessed to Spencer that you felt bad sometimes for not wanting him to change a single bit even though you knew he had to learn to be better around others.

Even when the food did arrive and you managed to balance two pizzas onto the tiny old coffee table, you still continued to talk and as the minutes turned longer you found yourself moving closer and closer until your thighs were pressed against others and your head was resting against Spencer’s shoulder, stomachs full of greasy food and hearts warmed after conversations that didn’t dwindle away into awkwardness. There was little you appreciated more than having someone around who you felt like you could talk to, Spencer was that person and even if he didn’t always remain to be that person you were glad now for all the help he had offered you and your family and never asked for anything in return. Maybe it was your bad experience with men in the past but not everyone was as lovely as he was, so many people would have seen your life and decided that it just wasn’t for them but Spencer willingly involved himself. It wasn’t so much about his job anymore, slowly you were starting to realise that he perhaps did just like you for you and not because of pity, or because he was a good person.

“Come ‘ere.” You mumbled and lifted your head up off of his shoulder, Spencer turned to face you at the sound of your voice and watched with a soft gaze as you licked your thumb and then reached out to wipe away a little sauce on the corner of his mouth. It was a total mother move and you had to smile when you saw him do the same, the corners of his perfect mouth tilting upwards into a tight smile as you cleaned him up. You had been so hyper focused on his mouth that you didn’t realise that you had indeed been staring, how could you not when his lips were right there looking so pink and kissable? With anyone else Spencer would have felt weird having all this attention on him, sometimes people looked at his mouth rather than his eyes when speaking to him (mostly mothers who had crushes on him and took their kids to the library, he was aware now that some had an interest in him) and it always felt odd but with you he actually enjoyed it.

Eventually your eyes flickered up to look into his eyes, everything about him was so lovely that none of this felt like it could be real. It wasn’t in your interest to wallow in self pity but the world hadn’t exactly been very giving and while you already had the one thing you needed, you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting this. Maybe it was greedy, maybe this would only end poorly and you’d not only hurt yourself but him and in turn perhaps your son but you wouldn’t know if you didn’t give it a shot. So, a shot you gave it.

Spencer stayed still as you slowly leant in, he knew what you were planning to do before you had even started moving towards him and he’d begun to feel that tingling feeling in his stomach, the same one he got when he first laid eyes on you. When you got close enough he closed his eyes and waited until he felt your soft lips against his, yearning for more but also enjoying the tenderness of everything and he could feel your hesitation and didn’t want to push you any further. It would be a lie to say that he hadn’t thought about what it would be like to kiss you, it turned out better than he could ever have expected even if this was the most chaste of kisses, it didn’t remain that way though. There was nothing sexual about the way you kissed him, neither one of you wanted to do more than kiss but still the kiss turned into more than just a gentle peck. The way you kissed was slow, Spencer’s hands coming up to cup either side of your face and that gesture alone made your heart melt, with a mouth like that you couldn’t imagine him being anything but a good kisser and your theories had been confirmed.

“Mom?” At the sound of a distant, quiet voice you both mutually pulled away, at some point you had found yourself almost perched on Spencer and you had to pull yourself off of him when you realised the voice belonged to Cameron. You weren’t upset or anything that he had technically interrupted what was happening between you and Spencer, sure you would have liked to keep kissing him but your child always came first. Still, it wasn’t like Spencer was going anywhere soon.

“Don’t move.” You whispered before pressing a quick kiss to his nose, then climbing off of the couch and wandering out of the room to go see if Cameron was okay, Spencer watched after you with a slight dazed look on his face. He bit his lip and ran his hand through his hair, unable to stop thinking about what it felt like to have your lips against his and to have you all to himself without any distractions. Well, until now but he was more than okay with you going and checking up on Cameron. Seeing someone be a good mother was always a wonderful thing and all he could do was hope that everything was alright and wait patiently for you to come back so you could continue where things were left off.


	8. Chapter Eight.

Spencer considered himself to be an extremely observant person, he could notice the smallest change in something when others couldn’t do the same. This skill came in handy and it was the main reason that he was surprised to learn that slowly, not even week by week but slowly there were fewer amounts of people visiting the library. Now he wasn’t dumb, he knew that for a long time people had stopped really seeing the need for it, they had the internet how so why walk across town and spend your time searching for the answer to whatever your question was when you could instead type it into a search engine and get the answer right away? Spencer would always prefer a book rather than a computer but he could see why people had stopped visiting.

If it wasn’t for the after school club then he wasn’t sure people would be coming at all, the long aisles were quiet and he had found himself beginning to arrange the books in alphabetical order, making sure that they were all in the correct section and had even thought about keeping them in alphabetical order but also trying to arrange them in the most aesthetically pleasing colour pattern. In short, there was no one around when the kids weren’t there which left him to his own tasks. It wasn’t a bad life, he enjoyed being surrounded by books more than anyone else but it could get lonely. There were other librarians who worked there but on much shorter shifts and they never really talked to one another, they’d been hired by Spencer because they seemed desperate of a job and not because they actually had a passion for books.

It was scary to think that one day, no one would turn up at all. He’d noticed here and there that the occasional familiar face hadn’t turned up and while it was strange he didn’t find it cause to worry. It was more so the newer folk who were disappearing, each day though he was more glad than ever to see that you would still walk through those doors with Cameron by your side. Especially after everything that had happened back at your apartment, even though it had been your idea he still never wanted to overstep a boundary and have that cause you to find somewhere else to take your son.

After you went to see what Cameron wanted, you learnt that he was now awake and feeling better than he had been before. He asked who was in the apartment as he heard voices and when you told him that it was Spencer he tried to climb out of bed so he could go see him. Since he hadn’t eaten all day you thought he should at least have something and there were a few slices of pizza left and that was his favourite food, clearly he’d had a sucky day so you decided that he could have this. When Spencer looked up at the doorway after hearing your footsteps he saw you walking in with a still sleepy Cameron in your arms. The three of you cuddled up on the couch, Cameron on your lap with his mouth focused on the pizza and you shared a apologetic look with Spencer, worried that perhaps he would be upset you interrupted your make out session but this was Spencer you were talking about and he was completely okay with it.

Only once Cameron went back to bed did you and Spencer start to discuss what was going to happen between the two of you now. Clearly there were feelings there but neither of you were fond of the idea of mixing the professional and the personal. If things didn’t turn out so great then the last thing you wanted was to ruin the routine that you’d both helped create for Cameron, however you also had to take into consideration that he loved Spencer and would thrive having him around more often. This was what he wanted after all, and if you liked one another then the least you could do was give things a shot. It wasn’t as if you were in a relationship all of a sudden, but Spencer did ask you out on another date so things were looking hopeful.

When you walked into the library that afternoon with Cameron by your side you weren’t expecting much, the usual back and forth between you and Spencer as you explained how his day had been and then had to rush away to get to work on time but you soon noticed that something was wrong. Spencer and Penelope were standing facing three mothers who usually came in with their children, you remembered them as being the ones who were gossiping over how attractive Spencer was so you quickly reminded yourself to keep your heart eyes on the down low. It was only as you walked closer that you began to understand what was happening.

“They can’t just do that, right?” Mariel exclaimed and looked to her two friends, she was definitely the one to go to if you wanted to know all the gossip and while you weren’t usually the type to engage in that kind of behaviour, just by looking at Spencer and Penelope’s faces you could tell that they were too distraught by what was being discussed. The first thing that popped into your mind was that something had happened to one of the their children which was the worst thing imaginable but that fear was quickly put to rest when you saw Lucy, Harry and Naomi wandering around the children’s section. The sigh of relief you let out was enough to notify the five of your presence, heads all turning to face you. “(Y/N)! Did you hear? They’re trying to shut down this place!”

“We don’t know that for sure.” Spencer interjected but he sounded defeated, there was no energy to his voice and he even looked like he had given up. The discolouration under his eyes was darker than usual and his hair was a mess, two things that granted weren’t uncommon for him but even Penelope who was a bundle of colours and happiness looked exhausted. They had been on the phone, writing letters and stalking through the internet the whole night because while they weren’t admitting it, they too had heard these rumours that government cuts was going to force them to close the library down. “For now it’s just a rumour.”

You knew the struggle with money nowadays all too well and unfortunately it made sense to you as to why the library would be one of the places that was targeted, it didn’t bring much money in at all considering the whole purpose was so that people could come and get books for free. It was disappointing to see that not everyone understood the value but it wasn’t a surprise, all you felt you could do in that moment was offer a sad smile and try and be of some comfort. You knew that Spencer’s job was his whole life, not only had he spent so much time cultivating it to be a space place for himself but now for so many families and to see that all be swept aside like it was nothing was heartbreaking.

“Can we do anything to stop this? Like, oh I don’t know, sign a petition?” You tried to be helpful and you spotted the small smile on Spencer’s lips before it vanished which gave you the comfort you needed. It occured to you that perhaps Cameron should not be listening in on this conversation as he took things personally and would more likely than not be upset by this news. As if she had read your mind, Penelope excused herself and parted the small space between Spencer and the three women so that she could walk to you and offer her hand out to Cameron. He first looked up at you, then over to Spencer who mind was racing with all his worries that he wasn’t paying attention to the younger boy. You watched as she began talking to him as they walked away, asking him how his day was and whether or not he was hungry cause she had made cupcakes. The sight alone made your heart break a little more, the possibility that all this could be gone when it had become a life saver for not only you but Cameron.

Both his behaviour and mood had improved so much, he’d actually started taking an interest in reading and his vocabulary had made such a jump and overall, he just seemed so much happier. You gave so much of that credit to Spencer, anyone could see how much Cameron adored him and admired him, he truly was like a role model to him. The thought of him not having that male figure in his life, having it leave once again was something you just couldn’t stand for. You didn’t know what you could do but you knew you had to do something, to try at least.

“I don’t think a petition will do anything.” Grace shook her head before crossing her arms over her chest, the sleeves of her tightly knit cardigan stretching up her arms. She was right, as much as you would like to think that it would be taken seriously, a bunch of names on a list didn’t compare to actual, physical proof that the people of the town were willing to rebel against this. But as Spencer said, it was still only a rumour so until something was confirmed then there wasn’t really a point in protesting. You didn’t want to tell him that you understood why they were targeting the library in the fear that you looked insensitive, you didn’t want it to close as much as the next person but you couldn’t imagine that Spencer with all his brains didn’t know why.

“Thank you all for coming and telling me but I should get over to the kids.” Spencer straightened up from where he had been leaning back against the desk, since he worked with kids he had learnt how to best mask when he was having a bad day so that he did not by accident cause them to get into a bad mood. It also worked with adults though because the three mothers all nodded and said their goodbyes and apologizes before heading towards the door, you were about to step forward and speak with Spencer before you felt a tap on your shoulder. When you turned around you were met with Anne, the woman with the chubby features and white hair.

“(Y/n), we were planning on going to lunch some time this week. Did you want to join us?” That was the last thing you had been expecting to hear, it wasn’t though you disliked the ladies as you didn’t know them that well but that was what made it so surprising. It was so surprising that you couldn’t speak and instead just nodded your head, thinking to yourself that if you allowed yourself to explore a romantic relationship with Spencer then you might as well start searching for some friends. That was enough for Anne as she flashed you a toothy smile before turning around and heading towards the door, you waited until she and her friends were out of sight before you turned to Spencer.

“Hey, are you okay?” You said in the softest voice you could manage, your words coming out like honey; you weren’t even doing it on purpose it might just have been a mother thing. Spencer managed a small smile and despite knowing it was fake it made you feel better, you wanted to tell him to go home and get some rest but there was no way he was going to do that. Even if Penelope had things handled, he just couldn’t not be at work as it didn’t even feel like work.

He was okay, for now he still had his library and he still had his job, he was still looking after these kids and hopefully was helping them grow as people and learn. For now he was okay and that was the important thing, he couldn’t allow himself to get caught up in his worries as it would affect everyone around him. So, as he often did when in a bad spot, he pushed the bad stuff to the back of his brain and tried to focus on the positives; one of which was standing in front of him right now.

“I’m okay, how are you? Are you and Cameron doing good?” Spencer oddly enough didn’t like having lots of attention on him so he placed it onto you instead, it was different with the kids because they weren’t used to judging and didn’t have all these preconceived notions. You nodded your head once more, nothing major had happened with Cameron at school as his behaviour had started to improve and when Spencer wasn’t around your life was pretty straightforward as you had a schedule you had to keep with. Things were doing good though, certainly better than they had been doing before and you’d made sure to tell Spencer that, seeing his face light up was a wonderful thing to see.

You stood there together and had a quick discussion, even though Spencer had said before that he should get back to the kids he couldn’t resist chatting with you for a little while longer since he knew you’d have to rush out any second to get to work. Ever since your date which you both considered a success even if it was nothing like either of you had planned, you hadn’t seen each other again apart from when you dropped Cameron off. Even then, you had tried to be as subtle as you could be as you didn’t want to cause any drama for Spencer, in case other parents thought that the interest you had in one another might cause him to play favourites. Soon you forced yourself to leave, you could spend forever talking with Spencer but talking with him didn’t pay the bills so you had to go, besides he had to go continue being everyone’s favourite librarian.

Once Spencer was back at the children’s section, he walked over to Penelope who was stood near the cupcakes she had lovingly made, before he could even say anything she was handing him one of them. They were chocolate with chocolate buttercream, the cream was Spencer’s favourite bit for whatever reason so he swiped some up onto his finger and then licked it off. The children who were allowed the cupcakes were all busy eating their own and for the sake of the ones who couldn’t, Penelope had chosen not to eat any, instead she just glared at Spencer out of the corner of her eye until he noticed.

“What?” He said with a furrow of his brow, first thinking that perhaps he had cream around his mouth and instinctively reached up and wiped himself clean only to find nothing. Penelope was stood there smirking and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what it was, it appeared like she was even more deavated about the news of the library than he had been so to find her now happy was strange. Instead of replying, she just shrugged before her attention was drawn away by one of the little girls tugging at her dress and she followed after her while Spencer was left stood at the little table she had set up previously.

Maybe this all would be taken away, but for now it was here and he wanted to treasure the time he had. He quickly finished eating the cupcake and rubbed his hands together to get rid of any crumbs before calling attention to himself and starting off the so called book hunt, which in reality was just the kids going and finding their favourite books so that could write and draw about them and show their work off to their parents. He watched as Cameron walked over with another boy, they went to one of the small shelves but it was still a little tall for him to reach his book. The boy who was a year older went up on his tiptoes and got down Cameron’s book which of course, was Harry Potter.

Spencer’s heart swelled with pride as Cameron thanked the boy and waited with him as he collected his own book. They then went and sat down next to one another, not talking but instead Cameron focusing on his book and the boy on the drawing of the main characters he was just starting. It was moments like that which made Spencer determined to do whatever it took to keep the library running, it had been a saviour for him and it was the same to these kids and it shouldn’t matter whether or not they were bringing money in. This, this right in front of him had no price on it.


	9. Chapter Nine.

_“You and I, it’s as though we have been taught to kiss in heaven and sent down to earth together, to see if we know what we were taught.”_

You stared down at the text message with the widest grin possible, unable to stop yourself from wondering what you had ever done to snatch up a hopeless romantic like Spencer Reid. Here he was, sending you some of the most romantic quotes from novels imaginable without prompt, somewhere along the way you had popped into his mind and that beautiful string of words was what accompanied it. Unlike Spencer you couldn’t just name a book on the dot, didn’t recognise the writing style or know the author but it didn’t matter at all. What mattered was they made you smile, he in turn made you smile.

 _“God you are so cheesy, you know that?”_ You typed back in response, your eyes flicking up to the little icon at the top of the screen where a photo of Spencer smiling widely sat, baring all his perfectly straight white teeth and his little button now scrunched up. It had been taken on the night you were supposed to go out on that date but he instead stayed around your apartment, you had more photos of him that you had taken, some with dumb filters and then others Cameron had took when he snatched the phone off of you and had proceeded to take blurry photos of himself with Spencer laughing in the background.

_“We would be together and have our books and at night be warm in bed together with the windows opens and the stars bright.”_

Cheesy did not even being to describe what Spencer was, it was like he himself had walked out of one of those romance novels and had now made it his own personal mission to keep you blushing and your stomach filled up with butterflies. It was working, from anyone else you would have considered the whole thing a little cliche and strange but from Spencer it was nothing but adorable. You weren’t sure why but something about the last quote he sent you gave you some courage, maybe you were just projecting but it certainly sounded a bit like an offer.

 _“Are you asking me to come see you?”_ You almost added an emoji but then you remembered that Spencer never really understood the point of them and had gotten into a long discussion about how language was developing and right now, as interesting as that had been, you didn’t need to hear it again. You watched as you message was read and then the little “…” bubble appeared, then stopped, then reappeared again. This was common for Spencer, he seemed to pause and decide how best to word things as to cause maximum impact, it was easy for anyone to tell that he spent his life surrounded by books. You wondered if he’d ever thought about writing something of his own, he had a nice writing voice and style, certainly all the women and men who had crushes on him would be first in line to purchase it.

 _“I have a million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. (If Haruki Murakami did not give it away, Yes I would love for you to come see me. Penelope is here as well, you could bring Cameron if you wanted so he wasn’t left alone.)”_ You quickly read Spencer’s text and found yourself smiling even bigger, constantly rediscovering how happy you could be when around him. It was around six in the evening, Cameron didn’t have school the next day and he had been good all week, it wasn’t like you were planning to let him stay up all night or anything. You could go over to his apartment for a few hours and then when you came back Cameron could go straight to bed, you didn’t doubt for a second that he would be tired because no matter how hard he tried, he could never stay up for very long.

You quickly texted a response along the lines of “Tell me where you live and we’ll come over” before going into Cameron’s room, discovering him sat on his bed with crayons and a pad of paper out in front of him. As of recently you had been trying to encourage him to start drawing again, he used to do it a lot more often but his attention had been drawn away by books which was not a bad thing in the slightest but you didn’t want his talent to be swept to the side. It might have been a mother’s judgement which meant that you saw everything he did as good but for a six year old you thought he drew wonderfully, he used to draw on the walls to the point where you kept a pot of paint around to paint over them which you didn’t want to do in reality but since you didn’t own the place you knew you had to.

“What are you drawing there, bud?” You asked, sitting down on the edge on the bed before turning your head to try and see what exactly he was using so many colours on. There were four people, one much shorter than the others and it looked like the larger people were two women and one man but you couldn’t be sure. One of the women in particular was extremely colourful, her dress was bright pink and she was grinning the widest, the other two people were holding hands. Cameron dropped the purple crayon he was using to colour in the man’s sweater and turned the paper around to you.

“That’s you, that’s ‘pencer, Penny and then me.” He was still battling with his lisp so the way he said Spencer’s name became even more adorable and he couldn’t quite fit his tongue around the “lope” in Penelope’s name so she had suggested she call him Penny instead. Now you knew who the stick people were you felt your cheeks heat up, realising that Cameron for sure knew about you and Spencer and thankfully was okay with it. The picture looked like the kind kids would draw at school when they were asked to draw their family, this was how he viewed his family.

“It’s beautiful.” You smiled down at it before opening your arms up, Cameron knowing exactly what to do and clambering clumsily over to you where you then scooped him up in your arms. His hair tickled your nose and when you went to blow it away you heard him giggle, muffled against where his head was pressed up against your chest. It felt like you said it every day but you felt like he was getting bigger each day you saw him, it did not seem humanly possible that this was the little baby you heard in your arms, so small and delicate with wiggling feet and a toothless smile and the same now but also so different. Every parent went through that feeling but it didn’t make it any easier to deal with. “Are you feeling tired yet, Cam?”

Cameron shook his head but you still narrowed your eyes at him, trying to work out if he was telling the truth or was only saying so because he didn’t want to go to bed. His bedtime was still a bit away and if he was up for it, then you would bring him along to go see Spencer and Penelope, his drawing convincing you even more. With him still on your lap, you held him closer as you leant over and began to clear up his bed of all the crayons. Cameron peeked one eye open and watched you, sliding them neatly into the little round container before shutting the lid. He could feel your heartbeat pick up as his ear was against your chest which was why he didn’t say anything about how he was still finishing the drawing off, he wanted to know what you were going to say next because he’d hugged you plenty of times like this before and he’d never felt you like this.

“Well if you aren’t tired, Spencer invited us over to his home. Would you be up for going?” You spoke in a soothing voice so that if Cameron decided that he would prefer to stay at home or in fact was too tired to go he would know you weren’t upset with him, that of course was not the case and you found yourself laughing as he wiggled his way off of your lap and onto the floor, hurrying over to where his chest of drawers were so that he could find the coolest pair of socks. Spencer always wore cool mismatched socks and to the surprise of no one, Cameron had picked up the habit as well. It wasn’t so fun for you who had to keep reorganising his sock drawer and matching pairs together again but you still thought it was cute.

“Yeah!” Cameron exclaimed as he tried to pull his socks on as quickly as he possibly could, one with spots all over them and the other just being completely bright blue. He had already changed out of the clothes he wore to school upon arriving home so the only things left were his coat and shoes, it was getting colder and colder each day and the last thing you needed was for Cameron to get sick again. All you could hope for was that Spencer’s apartment had better heating than yours did, it kept you moderately warm but not enough to say you were content walking around without some kind of second layer on.

The next time you checked your phone there were instructions on how to get to his apartment, it wasn’t that far away from where the library was which would make sense as to why you’d never seen him driving anywhere. Once Cameron was all bundled up in his coat and his shoes had been tied, he walked beside you out of the apartment and down the long flight of stairs, clutching his drawing to his chest per your request. You could already picture the look on both Spencer and Penelope’s faces when they saw his drawing, even if they were technically not allowed to pick favorites and in reality they didn’t, you knew that if they did Cameron would be at the top of the list. He wasn’t used to being liked by many people, the fact that they made him feel so loved made you only like them both more.

On the drive to Spencer’s apartment Cameron became less sure of his drawing, pointing out the details he didn’t think were accurate like Spencer’s hair or your nose. He told you that he wasn’t going to show it too them anymore but there was no way you were going to let that happen. If he really became distressed by the idea of showing it to them then of course you weren’t about to force him but you knew him better than he knew himself and once he got in there he was going to show them nonetheless, even if it took some encouragement at first. It took around fifteen minutes to get to his apartment which for a six year old felt like a forever and was wiggling to get out of his seat, eager to stretch his legs out. He felt like he was out on an adventure, he never got to go out late like this (it was only half six but his bedtime was eight so it felt dangerously close) and the excitement buzzed through his veins, clutching your outstretched hand as you approached the building and began the trek up the stairs, not nearly as long as your apartment’s staircase was but still long enough to leave you both relieved when you saw his door number.

Cameron knocked first, then you did a little louder in case they didn’t hear his first attempt. You could hear slight movement from behind the door and then the sound of footsteps, it wasn’t long before the door was opened and you were met with Spencer. You were expecting him to look happy, smiling like he always was but there was something different about him today. The look on his face was apprehensive, like something bad had happened and that made you worry instantly. He quickly tried to hide that side of him now that Cameron was here, not wanting to upset him accidentally, he smiled and bent down to his height.

“Hey, what’s that?” Spencer asked with a soft smile and Cameron looked up at you first, you smiled in return and gently ran your fingers through his hair as encouragement. He slowly pulled the paper away from his chest and turned it around so Spencer could see it, unlike you he immediately recognised who the people he’d drawn were and his expression softened. In the time it had taken you to last hear from him and then arrive at his apartment things had happened that weren’t all that great and Penelope was on the phone arguing said things, but nothing could taint this.

“I can’t believe them, they can’t just do this to us!” Penelope’s voice was distant but still audible to everyone, your first instinct was to reach down and clasp your hands over Cameron’s ears. Spencer turned to you with a sad expression, this wasn’t what he had planned for when he had invited you over but clearly bad news struck whenever it pleased. He stepped to the side and allowed you both to walk in, hesitantly at that. His apartment was nice, had a warm feel that you liked to it. Spencer was about to explain to you in a much softer way exactly why Penelope was so angry but she soon stormed out of the kitchen in her silver glitter boots, positively fuming and told everyone herself.

“They’re really doing it, they’re shutting the library down.”

 


	10. Chapter Ten.

Spencer sat you down on his couch, a dark, worn brown leather with a knitted blanket thrown across it which you took and laid across Cameron once he climbed up beside you. He was a smart kid but he didn’t need to be one to understand what was going on, Penelope had blurted it out for everyone to hear and it wasn’t cryptic in the slightest. He was quiet, even if he hadn’t heard her outburst the atmosphere in the room was enough to let on that something was wrong, the thick tension in the air couldn’t be avoided. Penelope had quickly returned into the kitchen, bitter mumbling under her breath just barely audible from the living room and Spencer was somewhere in the middle. What could be said? The heavy realisation that his life was tumbling down around him was impossible to even try and comprehend and yet here he was, trying to convince himself that everything would be okay.

The majority of his life had been spent surrounded by walls of books, his own personal castle protecting him from the outside world. He knew things about himself that others might not expect he would admit, the hard cover of a book felt more natural in his palm than someone’s hand and maybe that was strange but it was his life. Spencer’s life wasn’t only his own though, it was intertwined with all the characters and personalities he’d come across in all those millions of pages he’d flipped through and also the lives of those who came through to visit the library. If you love books you have to love people by default, you might not always get along with them but someone has to create those stories and you end up rooting for those people within the pages, and to love both is a wonderful thing.

His castle was being torn down and it felt as though there was nothing he could do to stop it, if there wasn’t enough money to go around then that was a pity, why did it mean the home he and so many others had created had to be ripped from them? Not many people used libraries anymore, this he was perfectly aware of but the people who did still go were deserving of having that old building as a statue of comfort. Lonely teens sat in the aisles with stories about running away perched in their lap, elderly couples who spent their whole life together rented books about all the places they still want to go and children, bubbling with life and hope spent their time learning new words and tripping over their own curious tongues as they got used to their new vocabulary. This was valuable, no matter what anyone else said.

While he wasn’t actually speaking about his worries out loud they were easy read on his face, the furrow of his brows and the creases deep in his forehead were a crystal clear look into what was going on in his head. If Cameron wasn’t there then you would have walked over to Spencer and pulled him in for a hug, let him cry out all those emotions if that was what he needed because penting them up wasn’t going to help. But you couldn’t do that, a lot of the time being a parent involved trying to convince both your kid and yourself that things were okay, it wasn’t easy but it was necessary. You glanced around his apartment while awkwardly trying to work out what to do, an idea hit you when you spotted his bookshelves neatly placed beside the large windows looking out to the street below.

“Hey, why don’t we see what books Spencer has?” Using whatever happy tone you could dig out within you, you got Cameron’s attention and proceeded to take his hand in yours and stand up. Spencer stopped pacing and instead watched you walk over to the bookshelf, Cameron had taken the blanket placed on his lap and instead wrapped it around him, it swallowed him up in knitted shades of red and brown and hung past down his feet. He continued to watch with quiet interest, gritting his teeth in some feeble attempt at not getting emotional. There weren’t any kids books on his shelf, the majority of them were just things he was generally interested in or wanted to learn more about. There were plenty of history books, psychology and ethics, learning about everything the world had to offer was relaxing in a way it felt only he seemed to understand. However there was one book he knew the exact placement, one that might be of some interest.

He walked up so quietly that you didn’t realise he was beside you until his hand extended out past you, gently dragging his pointer finger across the long line of books organised by genre then alphabet, clearly running through the library within his mind to figure out where the book he was looking for was located. Tucked neatly at the end, stacked on top of “The Book of Margery Kempe” was a small collection of children’s stories. His mother always swore that from the moment she laid eyes on him that she knew he was going to be like her, she didn’t waste her money on children’s books and instead once he was old enough started introducing him to the real stuff. His father on the other hand did try to at least let Spencer have a taste of feeling like a normal child and had gotten that book with the intentions of reading it to him at bedtime; he never did but it seemed to stick around as books came and went, joining the skyscrapers of books that decorated the city of the family home.

The cover was dog-eared, some water damage distorted the picture on the front and made it so the author’s name was unrecognisable and yet he had kept it. Spencer wasn’t the type to throw away books if they got too old or damaged, there was a story inside still and it deserved to be read again one day. Spencer paused for a few moments as he stared down at the small book in his hands, he knew every word that lay behind that cover and especially the ones that his father had scribbled for him on the front page. He didn’t need to read it again, and yet on some nights he did, just to feel close to the family he both had and felt disconnected from at the same time.

“What about this one?” Spencer said softly before crouching down in front of Cameron and extended the book over to him, the sobre tone of his voice was as clear as day and you knew that Cameron had noticed it, it was impossible not to. He hesitated in taking the book, not because he didn’t want to or because he himself was upset in anyway but by default he thought he had done something wrong. He had got himself in so much trouble through the short years he had been alive and so it made sense that yeah, he’d done something. Of course, he didn’t verbalise any of these fears and after around ten seconds he reached out and took the book from Spencer’s hand. You ruffled his hair gently before walking him back to the couch, hoping that the book would keep him entertained for long enough so that you could have a conversation with the adults about what the hell was going on.

It was only once he was sat back on the cough, the blanket curled around him and the tatty book open on his lap that you allowed yourself to let him be. While he must have understood what was going on, it didn’t sit right with you that you just discuss it openly around him considering the library had become a big part of his life. Blissful ignorant was a saying for a reason and letting him be free from as many details as possible was all you wanted at that moment. You followed Spencer out of the dark living room and into the kitchen which wasn’t much brighter, Penelope standing there in all her rainbow glory helped out. For what felt like an eternity but in reality was only a couple of seconds you all stood there, desperately trying to find the words to fix everything but ended up grasping at thin air.

“What are we going to do?” Penelope spoke eventually, her hand still clenched around the phone that had delivered the bad news. The news was both surprising and at the same time predictable, people would rather their money be going into different things and their interest wasn’t always with what would benefit those around them. It was no surprise to anyone that budgets for libraries, museums and artists all across the country were being cut. How disrespectful could you be, these mausoleums of history and art, stories told and lives lead treated as though they could be left in the dust?

“Whatever we can.” Spencer replied equally as soft, his eyes were firmly planted on the ground as if he were trying to ground himself in the moment and not to let himself get lost in the panic. He was angry, how could he not be but letting that out right now was not the right move. It wasn’t only anger he felt, disappointment, sadness, regret for not thinking this day would come so soon? Before he could say anything else Penelope had turned and engulfed him in a tight hug, her head slotting perfectly beside his when she raised up onto her tiptoes.

It only hit you then exactly how much this would affect you. The reason you’d started bringing Cameron to the after school club in the first place was because it was your only option, taking him to work with you wasn’t possible anymore and whatever money you had was going towards food and bills, there was none to spare for a babysitter. Six years of his life had been spent being codependent on you, which hey, was pretty normal but without many friends at all and an bite far worse than his bark- you needed help. That was exactly what you had gotten, Cameron had blossomed in ways you had only dreamed of. He was learning how to interact with others and his way with language had flourished, he never seemed unhappy before but now it was visible on his face that he was actually happy, there was no question about it.

And Spencer, where would you be without him guiding the way for your son like a lantern in a dark sky. He was the best role model a kid could ask for, he showed these kids he cared for and educated that you could be passionate about things and that trait was something to be admired. You could be kind and smart and funny and loved for all those things, those were the kinds of people children needed to see and would end up remembering for the rest of their lives. He had become a part of your small family, he was so incredibly loved and that wasn’t about to change.

It was only once Penelope pulled away from the hug and Spencer had leant back against the kitchen counter in a state of emotional exhaustion that you took your chance at attempting to be of some comfort. Instead of hugging him like you wanted to, you leant over and rested your head against his shoulder and your weight against his arm. It was less invading that another hug would be but you hoped it let him know that you were here for him, that you understood at least somewhat of what he was feeling and he wasn’t alone. Having what felt like his whole life be torn away from him was one of the most alienating thing possible but he wasn’t alone, and he wasn’t going to be fighting it all alone.

“I guess we should get started.” After a heavy sigh, Penelope unlocked her phone and begun what would be a long journey of searching how on earth they were supposed to combat this. If they had no funding then the doors would shut, there was no question about that but maybe, just maybe if they could show the value in keeping them open then just once they could get lucky. She walked out of the kitchen with the intentions of going and sitting with Cameron, out of both her and Spencer it was easy to see who was in a clearer mindset, if she could be a use somewhere else then maybe you could get him to at least a workable point.

No words were shared as you stood together in the kitchen, there wasn’t you could say in that moment that would help. Sometimes the silence was more comforting than words could ever be, just knowing you were beside him was more of a relief than some kind hearted attempt at telling him everything was going to be fine. Spencer was rational, he was quick to work out the probability of things in his head and no, the chances were everything wasn’t going to be fine. But in the silence, with you, he could convince himself just for a second that it would be.


End file.
